There is a certain form of thinking that prompts one to listen, you listen, what is it like to listen? By listenning I mean those moments when you get ideas, when you “read minds”, or when what you want to know, comes to you. There is a certain way to listen to these, when you dont have prejudices I said it before, thats when you will hear them, thats when you will accept what it says, but how does one do this, is not easy, or how is it done?
There is a state in which it comes, what is this state, I was sitting on a rock today, trying to remember somehting again, while my mind thought of what I was trying to remember, as I decided to save it for later it came to me again, from another direction just like the last time, this is what it is? I wondered why, and how it came to me, it seemed like it came when I was not trying to think about it anymore, just like how people remember things only after they give up trying to think about it (and I remembered an instance of this a couuple of weeks ago, well actually I think it was this Sunday, when someone at church was trying to think of a name, and he said he would let it go since it would takke time but as soon as he said that he remembered.
Question is: why is it so?
So I started thinking of this state, and what it is. It sounds like these things are suppose to come spontaenously, without you trying to think of them, if you try to think of them they will not come, because they would not be spontaenous. I guess that when you are trying to think of something, you are applying prejudices, you aer trying to think of it in terms of those prejudices by which you are trying to think of it from, directing your thoughts to a certain place, when in fact you are not suppose to have prejudice as you want to know, you are just suppose to listen without a question without denying it with whatever evidece or past experience you may have.
So this is how they come, but if you are not trying to think of them (the problem is) how will it ever be known, so you are suppose to want to know but not try to make it or look for it, but just let it in. This may be confusion because you should only just “let it in” so it seems that you aer suppose to not care if it walks in or not, but if you dont care, it seems to mean that you dont really want it, and if you dont really want it then how will it ever come to you? I guess what one has to do is to admit they want it (how much do they have to admit before they convince their mind to look for the answer for them?)m and then just let their mind wonder. And why does it work like this anyways?
So why is it called spontaenous? Why does it feel that way? Because you are not thinking of prejudices that you feel are suppose to lead to it, when actually those prejudices have no connection with it (at least in your mind, which is why thinking of those prejudices will not help you remember. So if its not the prejudices that helps you remember but it is only the desire, your soul desire for it without identifying what it is.
Emotions without a name: I just woke up from my nap and my roomate was trying to tell me something, I told him to not talk, to hold on. I was trying to remember something and I didnt want him to distract me, as I slowly lost what I was trying to remember, I told him I was trying to remember something, he told me I must have a really bad memory, I said that its just that the things I was trying to remember did not have a name and thats why it was so hard. He said he was confused, I said I was too, he said “what?”, I said I was confused to as I have problems thinking and tryinf to remember these things they leave me confused, most time or not. He was telling me how I was talking in my sleep, I know since I wwas awake thorught some of it, “It wasnt spanish thought”, I told him, and when I told him that I thought and said, “HEY! I must have been speaking in toungues”. He asked what it was and I told him about acts and the tounges of fire and what not, and that you speak only that God understands. “So that means I got the Holy Spirit!!” I said, “well either that or I got demons from my friend who got possesed a couple of days ago”... I told him that he knew him but that I wouldnt say who. He said he didnt care. Then I told him that it was weird because there was anouther time when I was half awake and I was trying to phrase out everything I was thinking to remember it, putting parts and parts of it in words to get each out and maybe a whole, but I forgot everything because as I became more awake, the more I lost and I never wrote it down. So its like things that I can only think while I am dreaming, that I can only understand in that state, words that only make sense in dreams, since I dont believe that the words that I did manage to put together (that I still dont remember) made any sense. So he said, “but I thought you couldnt remember”, I said, “well yea cuz these things dont have a name so its really hard to pinpoint them to remember.” Then I thought of why people speak in toungues and I think it may be because of this, that there are no words in our language to describe the things they feel or are thinking about.
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