Sunday, October 25, 2009

Introspection

File Location:  My Words/Completion (What we know)\Achieving Awareness\Methodology\Explore/Introspection


People ask themselves why something happens bu they hardly ever take the time or make the effort to answer it.  People get concerned about it, but since that concern doesnt seem to contribute to their everyday setup they just ignore it.
                When you “feel like something” ask yourself why would you want such a thing, what makes you preffer such situation, take time to learn about yourself, and the reason why you do things, you spend enough time not thinking, why not think aobut these things once in a while.
                One way you could answer this, is to ask yourself, “what if”, if you were in such other situuation would you still, feel this way? What would make you stop feeling this, what would satisfy it, would you need a complete chaange or would you settle with a compromise?  What would you give up for it?
Here is an example of the advantages of introspection:
A couple of days ago... last Friday from September 14, 2009, on my way to Scribner’s office, Nick greeted me, I was a little lazy and weak minded, I said hey, a little confused, kinda shhook hands kinda hugged, didnt know which one to do, we didnt talk about much, awkward siilence? Im used to it, I have learned not to mind it, and I try to let others know (in an awkward way) that its really not that bad.  Anyways after the meeting I on my way out I decided to check out what they were doing (board and expressing thoughts on how people feel about christianity).  I saw, Keefe, I was sure going with the hug this time, why not? I talked to him morre because I wanted him to go over my writings, as I takled to him I was looking at Nick watching us talk, no hard feelings, why would he have any? He is not the type of person that would get jealous, really this was insignificant.  But as he looked our way I caught eyes with him, as I was talking to keefe, so me and Nick were looking at each other, unplanned awkward starring, I was just llooking around because I was,  but like in any other awkward moment one of us turns out looking the other way, Nick looked down.  He looked down because I was just starring him, not trying to stare him down, but just starring at him in my fogged mind.  It wouldnt mean anything, but the adjacency it had with the comparison of how I got along with Keefe compared with him, now it gives him a chance to think that he looked down, BECAUSE he was jealous.  I dont know what really went on in his mind, but I could see the way he looked down, it was combined with disappointment, sorrow.  He thinks he looked down because he was jealous, that is the automatic impression, when really its just because of the awkward moment, with introspection one is able to figure it out.  Example 2: I was working as a server, something new dish but I knew how to handle it, my body start to heat up, I thought I was gettinng nervous so I started getting clumsy and shaky.  Then I wondered, why am I even nervous? I know what to do, I am suppose to feel practical, like I know what I am doing, it may be a new dish but Iknow how its served, so why am I nervous?  It turns out I was never nervous to begin with, the heat from the food heaters, made my body hot and convinced it that it was nervoous so I started acting nervous.  It is the same technique detectives use when interrogating a suspect, they turn up the temperature in the room, if the  suspect is guilty, the temperature will make them think they are having trouble keeping their cool. 
Now its time to think critically about this: the advantages this new knowledge may have, the way that you deal with these sensations in your body convincing you that you are feeling a certain emotion is to address them and  convince yourself that these sensations are unreasonable, (whether the sensations are responding legitamately to your body or not?)  can your body tell the difference between legitamate response generated by an emotion in your body, and an external influence? Apparently not, tthe way your body heats up,then it heats up, the way you look down, then you look down, you can go with your mind’s initial interpretation of the sensation, or you can choose to address it and give it another interppretation, (whether the first interpretation was true or not), this means that you can calm yourself down where you typically tend to be nervous.  But you shouldnt lie to yourself about how you feel and why, but once you introspect, you should be able to find a reason why it is stupid to feel that way anyways. At least I have... with certain things.
And not only you can lie to yourself, but you can also confuse others about the connection between their own sensations and emotions,  this is why lies become true alot of times, if your friend is not the jealous type but you keep telling her she is jealous, or sad, unless she looks within herself to confirm by examining herself and her character, the lie will become true, she will be influenced by whatever is in her environment, and if she doesnt affirm what she believes, she will believe she believes whatever people say she believes.  Hitler knew this, and he used it well, “If you tell a lie long enough loud enough and often enough the people will believe it” and like what happens in the nature of lies, the truth, is disregarded.  It happens all the time, even when people are not being lied to, it is called neglection of truth, or reality, neglection of whatever is going on arounnd you.  If you do not become aware of what you really feel, then your truth will be your initial interpretation, then I would have gotten nervous for no reason, and Nick would feel jealous and disappointed, even if he really didnt care, though there is no reason for  it, for some people it takes time to get out of that mood, to realize it, even though they may never learn they were lying to themselves all along, and some people never learn.
Here is a make belief example:
I stay in my room because, I have alot of homework... my friend tells me that I stay in my room because I dont know how to make friends (which is true, but that is not the reason why I decide to stay in my room, I mean even if I dont know how to socialize Im pretty sure I can make a friend or 2 just by going out.  But since I have not examined and affirmed my reasons for staying in my room, I will begin to accept my friend’s reason.  I probably do stay in my room because of that (which is an unnecessary lie or an unreflected comment).  Then instead of staying in my room concerned about my homework, I now stay in my room dwelling on the tragedy that I dont know how to make friends.
So in the case of an introspection it is essential to ask yourself questions about what you believe
Emotions, what are they (for)?: I figured this out by introspection... something really useful and helpful.
So what I mind about people doing stuff, I dont care what they do, I am just concerned about their intentions, so if they have good intentions but cause someting negative, I will appreciate their intention rather then be angry at their result.  If they have bad intentions then its bad.  Well I believe I had a good intention when I was trying to expose the prejudice in people to prompt them to change their ways,  but I didnt realize that by making them feel bad I was closing their minds.  So I had good intentions though I was making them feel bad (remember this when dealing with other people because plenty do this, that though they have good intentions, it seems like they dont.)  In the end I think I had a good intention, or a bad intention (to make them feel bad) to accomplish a greater good (to prompt them to change).  the point is to think about what defines a good intentions so that it separates it from a bad intentions? One may answer, well its the kind of emotion you have when you are “intentioning” if you have a positive caring emotion, then its good, if you have a negative attack emotion then its bad; so you just feel it? 
But what makes an emotion good or bad? Well its the kind of belief you hold behind it I guess, point: that there is an intrinsic connection between beliefs and emotions.  So emotions reflect something that you believe.  Emotions are beliefs, so pay attention to your emotions because they will reflect things about you. 
So what does it mean to have a negative intention?  Maybe its somewhere along the lines of the goal being a selfish one, disregarding the being of others.  A positive intention is that which is selfless.
So what does it mean to be selfish? And to disregard others, why would this happen? And is this really happening? I think this would happen depending on the beliefs one has of what is important and how he sees the world and other people, what he believes the world to be... 
... So we went from emotion, and the reason he has those emotions is because of what he believes there is.  So what he sees, affects him emotionally.  And depending on each persons personal setup of belief, each one, when they see a certain object, effect, event, entity, etc., their beliefs about it will determine what emotions they have, because even though they are looking at the same thing, that thing reflects a different story according to their beliefs, and because they have different beliefs, they will feel differently about what they have seen.
If someone wants them to see the same thing, they would have to understand each others beliefs that decide what the “thing” means.

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