July 19, 2011

Becoming the Archetype:  It is a method that focuses on not being dissatisfied; dissatisfaction implies yearning, which implies having an archetype.  This is an attempt to get rid of the unreachable archetype by being what I am, flaws and everything, the point is to check myself whenever I begin to yearn, but not blame myself when I fail, but accept my failure, as if it was the archetype.

Whenever I move, my world becomes smaller.  It’s the effect of responding to temptation; the more you respond to exclusivity, the more exclusive you become.  Swatting away bugs, scratching itches, the twitches of the eye, the thinking from one thought to another, the shifts of focus… they are all responses to temptation, they are all rejection of the present state.  That is why, one learns by focusing on their breathing, and nothing more.  By doing this they expand, by accepting their world they see more of it; so now they do not have to look behind themselves to know what is there. 

When practicing this, I always ask myself, “If I am not suppose to move or think (because it would mean I am responding to temptation) then when do I move and how does one think?”  The answer to this is: you move when the option of moving does not lure you away from where you are any longer; you move when movement is no longer inspired by temptation.  You move when moving no longer costs you the focus that you had on your breathing.

July 18, 2011

I wish I had done this a long time ago,
but unfortunately I cannot force my despair.
I have to wait until it grows on its own.

 

“Something happened today, it frustrated me all the way to three years into the past and to a point so far into the future this day was forgotten.  But let’s save time and words and I will only summarize this story into this principle: just another story of how each one of YOU nonchalantly ‘nailed Christ to the cross’.”

I stood outside reflecting on this affliction; I realized that the reason why I held this frustration was because I wanted this story to be told.  I also realized that I could summarize the climaxes of this story into dots of negative energy of varying degrees; kind of like cussing over and over again until you get your point across to others, “I am fucking pist!”  Except, another necessary element is for others to accept your message as legitimate, so you can’t just depend on heavy language.

Then I realized that I do not need to hold on to these dots because they are all over the place, everyone knows about them so I wouldn’t be losing anything.  So I let go, and my rage is gone… that easy. 

(The “dot” metaphor was only used to explain in simpler terms the principles that were maneuvered through my mind for this to happen.  There was no actual “visualizing of rage dots” for this to happen.)

To be able to do these things efficiently and profoundly one has to be in touch with themselves, to be able to know what exactly it is that is bothering them, where the pebble is in their ethereal body and what would make that pebble dissolve.  I think this is why it is important to “listen” to yourself and your body, as one practices this, they also become more proficient in analyzing the activities in their selves and also maneuver different functions.

One who is not in touch with themselves would not know what is wrong with them and continuously turn to not only self-destructive but also counter-productive methods to temporarily relieve the pain that is necessitated by their ideological structure.

In search for grace, 
continuously scorched and trampled by that chemical dragon. 
am definitely not enlightened.

July 14, 2011

Me: Why am I here?

God: The question that needs to be answered is not “Why are you here?”, but “Why are you asking these questions in the first place.”  The answer to this is more understandable and worthwhile; you are asking such questions because you are here.  If you were not in this state of mind, you would not feel the need to ask such things, you would not feel like this is missing.  The environment you are in is structured so, it is a given in the form of a question, but it is an answer in fact; an answer that possesses you from the inside and uses your body to manifest itself in this world. 

Me: If this is the case, all I would need to do to end this question is change my state of mind…

God: Yes, all this is, this environment is such that turns logic against itself, a contradiction… This is why you feel the need to find an answer; this is why you feel as if the world does not make sense.  All you need to do is straighten out the twists and tangles that cause this contradiction inside of you.  So that the statement that dwells in your mind is not anymore, “Why is it so?” but plainly, “It is so”.

July 13, 2011

Laying down again, I think I am onto something… that I let go of.  It had something to do with closing a circle and letting it go: like finding out that finding out is a waste of time (not really, but similar structure).

As I am trying to remember it, it certainly does not feel if this is the final answer; but if I learned anything from my experiences is that feelings are irrelevant to the value of the answer, and that fate can change as quickly as one changes his mind, with only as much weight as a decision.

August 16, 2009

I am still so confused these days, I have sort of completed laying out the foundations of my beliefs but I havennt gone any farther because there is another tangled jumble I need to sortt before I can follow through anything.  But I have only done enough to change and to live and what not, I at least feel an incentive now. I am still so confused, I dont know who I am, and I change from one moment to annother into one thing or another, I dont know who I want to be, so I dont hold on to anything, I just move and move, but I dont know how to control it, it just happens sometimes whatever is in the way; because my desires depend on my identity, alot of times my identity does not the desire to complete the tasks of another or to even move into the identity to have those desires.  I am so confused these days, sometimes I believe somethings sometimes I believe others, my dreams are always stories and stories with passion. Sometimes I wake up and I dont know where I am, and I dont always wake up from sleep.  I am constantly changing, I am going through a crisis, and my brain isnt good enough to hold, I want it to be.  Thwew is something that I am desperate for, something that I seek, something that I crave, it is not something material, it is not an emotional need, it is not a comfort or a pain; so only by God I can receive.  I want an idea, I want a thought that will make all of this clear, I want a state of mind that will bring euphora from all this chaos, I want a wisdom, and then want more.  Its all in my head, and I need to find.

July 14, 2009

I decided to write about how I figured out the process of wondering and the order in which things came about as I was trying to figure out the basic foundations of my actions and beliefs. So first I worked out the first file in figuring out what we know. Then as I was starting to lay out the difference between life and death I saw the significance in action, verb as well as mental verb, awareness and creativity, and so wondering, interpreting after interpreting, to learn and relearn and wirness many worlds, so I wondered about wondering after I had already wondered, so it is not a method I set then followed, it is something that came naturally then I named it with introspection.

Subject Matter (Knowledge)

File Location: My Words/Completion (What we know)/Subject Matter (knowledge)

To begin this subject I am going to start off with pointing out the problems in science and the pomp of human minds when it comes to, discovering and knowing the world.  It is true we are able to predict certain things and its true that, for the most part and only for the most part, it comes out true.  Scientific results are existant, there is no denying it, but the results of scientific experiments are only accepted because of the tendencies of the physical world; tendencies are invalid support when trying to justify something logically.  And even if it was true that science had Eternal incorruptible results and predictions, still what do we really know about the world?  Does  being able to predict certain things make us dignified of worship? Does this mean that we understand how the world works, what it is made of? And does this say that we can control the world , our lives and our destiny? Does this make us gods?  Materialist atheist scientist seem to think so since they have developed the pride to say that humans will inevitably know everything at some point in the life of humanity, that it is a sure proven Truth that there is no God.  How can people believe that the human mind can understand the wonderous utter infinity of Reality?   Saying that a human mind understands reality would be like saying that a rock understands the complete complexities of consciousness.  Atheism developed from “logic” and “science” is as much a scam as christianity is, as portrayed in “Zeitgeist”.

The way that we live everyday life, does not show that we know anything about reality, but only shows that we have fooled ourselves to think that the world is real and consistent .  Of course the world that is observed seems to be real and consistent, but its only accord to human minds and senses.  I am proclaiming that we only know what is given to us, only what is fed to us by our senses; but what our senses tell us has nothing to do with reality and the world.  What we live by is only hope that things exist, and we are in denial to admit that there is no way to prove that the laws of nature are eternally constant or that what we touch is actually solid, or that what we remember has actually happened, there is no way to prove that what we sense is the only things that exist!!!  Science is based on assumptions from the beginning, assumptions that scientist themselves have invalidly, without logic, accepted as Truth.  Who knows what the world really is, we are not alive enough to know.  When we truly use truth for truth, we realize that we live in an unknown world.  Nobody knows where we live or where we are.  Nobody knows the properties of the unknown, and the unknown is now, the unknown is here the unknown is with us.  Knowledge is not even a property of human lives; what is a property of human lives is pretending that knowledge is a property of human lives; delusion and unjustified belief.  We do not deserve to live, we do not deserve to say, do not say even a word, do not even look, because your thoughts are a disgrace to Truth, you lie by thinking, and then you lie by saying that your lies are truth, and even worse; you lie by saying that your lies are Truth.  But how can I say that we do not know anything, that knowledge for human beings does not exist.  The truth is that I know that we know nothing, but the truth is that I do not know, but even then, the Truth is... (I can’t say, my mind is unworthy to declare) the Truth is...

                Like Des Cartes I want to start of with foundational beliefs and work towards the external world from there, but unlike epistemology, which goal is to discover what we know as an end, and we MUST know it, I am going to accept those things that we may never know, and point out those things that, human beings may consider true, from those things that human beings may asume in real life to be able to live normally, and such things that we have good reasons to assume but that we must declare that at anytime and any idea, we should give them up.  I also want to clarify the reasons why certain things are morally acceptable to assume, for the sake of humanity and life.

                Why we believe.

                What we know.

                What we should look for.

                 The Truth.

                The lies.

                Assumptions, that make our universe.