Sequence is: !) assimilate, @)inspire, #)move
I guess I havent mentioned this but last week when I had the talk with keefe I told him about something I was working on,, My target audience... who sohould I satisfy, should I not wera colorful clothes because there are people out there, that hate the colors? But I want to call those people that love colors like me!! How do I take care of this? There are people who make it seem as if they dont like red shirts, those that think that others dont like erd shirts or tend to not like red shirta when really its not true, and there is a way to make people ok with red shirts.. I need to find out what it is that people mind, I mentioned before that its the threat, if teuy sense a threat, then they will reject, but what are these threats? What are typical threats from typical gestures? And there is also something that people tpically want, though they wont admit it, how do you make them feel comfortable to admit it, how do you make yourself “approachble”? open for people to admit these kinds of things to you? And to do these kinds of things to you? To have the same mind as you when you maddog them.
Now that girl at the dining hall last night, it left me super frustrated, how she wanted to stare or smile at me, and I didnt look lonng enough, I was frustrated because it was some unanswered questions I had, and some unanswered questions that created this hesitation, I neeeded to figure it...
Anyways so basically, I am going to take small steps to answer this,,, ok so the girl at the table last night, she obviously wanted me to interact with her, and I didnt, why not? Well there are many possibilities to consider, and I guess the reason that I felt unsatisfied, unfinished, guilty, ashamed with myself (although with noone else), is because I didnt live up to my standards, my own standards... So I need to figure out why I didnt, and what those standards are anyways (gosh there is so much I dont know about myself)... anyways, so I didnt interact because the possibilities, maybe I was wrong, maybe she didnt want interaction, maybe she was just like every other bitchy girl that just wants her space, and wants no eyes, (come back to this comment, basically Im saying: “so what?!”), but anyways so the possibility of that, or her actually being a lesbian made me back off.. Second thing I need to consider, it wouldnt matter if she was a lesbian or looking for a husband or whatever, most basic truth is that she wanted interaction, and this is the point you should work from, (not that you should only go up to people that seem like they want interaction, because some just dont admit it), but if they show that they want it, its AN OBVIOUS SIGN... its a jackpot, struck gold... its just there, “Im OPEN” its like the sexually desperate girl that goes out completely naked at midnight, but people are still afraid to rape her... what does it take for someone to just go up to her and ask, “why are you naked?” (cuz then she wont admit that its because she was hoping to get raped, she will start acting all independent pretending she doesnt need anybody...) oh, well maybe she shouldnt be walking around naked in the first place, (so then you rape her)... So I guess we can use social norms to justify ourselves,, yes I have done this before, its the way that I avoid racial jokes and sexual comments just so that I wont get reported... but I still offend people somehow? (bad image, dont go by it).. Also, there maybe a way to give her what she obviously wants, but not give her a chance to deny it (and this is why you start twitching, too many things to consider superimposing), which is also the reason there is a lack of sexual consent between partners, (the fuCK! If you dont admit it, why would I bother with you, telling me your not interested, telling me you dont want it, if you dont need me I aint giving myself...) or that reaction. You want sex or not?!? “I do, but its wrong so I dont want to make it seem like I do”... hmm the important thing here is to allow them to be honest with you, or you can try and work all the wires out behind the wall (that is, making sure that everything, absolutely everything that may lead to sexual hesitation is out of the way, without you knowing about it, usually this only takes some honest confession of howw you just want sex and nothing else, or whatever the platter may be.) So how do you get people to open up to you like this? (yea I USED to be really open person, until I came to whitman... people here just like drama).
Or I could learn by going into unknown territory... calm down assimilate and find a whole new world instaed of doing all this mind work (so thats what this is, just nother method...? hm)
Maybe our minds know everything about the world and our bodies act according to it, but we spend our life trying to figure out what our mind is doing... this would seem to be so whenever everything works out for the best.
Ok so freeky stuff, It SEEMS, only seems, as if I start figuring things out,my mind starts to act according to the level of knowledge.. so that it comes naturally once I have these things in mind... I guess thats how I start being active, it just comes out once I am convinced, right?
Anyways, so say I scare someone for fun, and they get pist, but they know they have fantasized this kind of life before but they are not thinking aobut that, so that when you leave, they wish you never had, which is what creates the feeling that you never know what you have until its gone. Anyways so you impose a world on them that only exposes its face when they are ready to accept it,, aah and the credits roll down (or up), thats why everybody loves someone that dies, because they see all their actions in an acceptable way, well I guess it depends how they die... lol. This also plays into being approachable to certain things, what signs do you have to give to distinguish yourself form the uptights?...hmm think abot this.
People taking things the wrong way... how annoying.. just as I.
Thoughts based on a pathetic relationship with some girl that I am interested in: There is this girl in my music theory class, I always think that I have to be genuinely interested in someone, to be able to start a conversation, cant really find anything to talk about, I think she is interested because she sat next to me twice already, although she always used to sit at the far corner, until she noticed me glancing at her. So she is there, but cant seem to find alot to talk about.. So I am curious, basically because I think she is pretty, but I am curious, genuinely curious, so what do I want to know? I wish I knew who she was, honestly, so there, I know what she looks like, I want to know more, so I ask, “who are you?” she answers, “Im ******”, well what else? I said I wanted to know who she was, so thats what I ask, but all she told me was her name, I know what she looks like and I know her name, but I that doesnt tell me anything about her, I still wish I knew her... so I use my method::::>>>> so what does it mean to know her?
SO here is the explanation for the uncomfortable method, so instead of analysing the environment and leearning and preparing before you go in it, the uncomfortable method, means for you to learn by experience, to assimilate yourself into your new environment,dancing along with the situation, need to learn to switch along with the music of events, so you look for these unknown places and you go in without asking, you learn in it, you play it out, and you risk failing, or you can do this kind of thinking, going by your prejudice but learning anyways the new prejudices that will follow with a more open mind.. I prefer the one that requires more effort, so that prejudices are seen as irrelevant, always ignoring them... Assimilate, inspire, change, (repeat). Assimilate: learn to live in your situation, you are ok, you desire no better or worse, be satisfied. Inspire: look towards a new world. Be curious of what is behind the curtains, behind these walls that contain your reality. Change: for better or worse, escape.
So I have been inspired plenty, and I have changed, but I have trouble assimilating... how do you assimilate? I think this is the question I have been looking for...
Be exposed to the things that spur your mind, the Verb from withing, events the things, Energies!! Let them come through you and allow you to live.
Alright so things to figure out:
How to assimilate... and
How to give others the sign to get comfortable...
Ok so this is really strange, I havent watched any pornography in a really long time. I havent procrastinated with video games, you tube or any other internet stuff for a really long time...
I have tried to play video games but I feel very uncomfortable, like concerned about otehr stuff. It just doesnt feel right, same thing with youtube, there is just more important stuff in the way...
I think pornography, and I dismiss it, now I wonder, I think maybe if I watch pornography I wont be able to stop again, I am not sure which one will happen... maybe actual moderation? Perhaps.. anywayys, or maybe I just dont feel the need to watch it anymore, because I figured out its “beauty” (mystery)... the reason why I watch it, and fixed that belief... I am not sure of any of this, but thinking aobut pornography right now, makes me feel that if I watch it, Ill unfortunately, inevitably hook myself... this would happen because I forgot what pornography is and what it offers (if I really havent fixed myelf), so all I need is a reminder to be hooked again. Hopefully I fixed myself... o gosh, I can feel it coming back, I sense it though unidentified, I the problem probably comes and goes, those times when my mind is closed.
How to give others the sign to be comfortable,, you can say it straight out (but dont ever lie, if you lie then your words wont work),,, you can express it somehow (but saying it straight out for example..)
You can start it (a problm with this is that there are the kinds of people who dont do unto others as they would want to be done unto them i.e. selfish, and because these people exist, others may assume that you are one of them so it doesnt matter how much you abuse, they never get the message that maybe youu want to be abused)...
You can make yourself vulnerable, just be clumsy for someone to be comfortable with tripping you. to increase your chances of someone acting on your vulnerability you must:
Inspire them to act
No comments:
Post a Comment