November 16, 2009

These ideas they are like butterflies..

If you focus on one, then it flutters away from your memory,, if you focus on the one you lost and how far it is how hard it is to get it, you will never notice all those other ones around you,, I must let go, and catch all these more... I must also get better at catching them.

So I pray, I want to see, I want to feel, I want to be like an angel, I want for others to see the beauty I see, when I point to God. 

Seeing the fourth dimension: pupils point to it, so in the third dimension, eyes look white, with Iris and pupil pointing in an unknown direction,

Moving into the fourth dimension, you can move all you want but it aint gonna get you there, its like you have to feel your way in, because in the third, it doesnt really look like your moving, it may look more like you are morphing.

Everything you think about is real, my imaginary friend ball, well it comes to your mind for a reason, finally a world where everything you imagine is real, because everything that comes to your mind, has come from somewhere.

Hearing, I am hearing subsounds without even trying, in the guitar, and when putting away the cups, the only time I tried, was when Skyler was telling me to....  I guess I do have stuff to learn from him as well,  these subsounds, maybe its the sameway you try to sense things from the other dimension.

How do they come here, the signals left behind from extra dimensional beings, what of them is manifested in the third dimension? You follow these out, into an unknown where the inlfuence comes from, not where it goes or where its been, but where it comes from... (the mysterious above) and you will see its source,,, the trees the wind, they all have something to share with us... wher do they come from? What of them is transdimensional residue? Everything is...

If I were to figure all of this out just imagine the possibilities..

See through walls, levitate, read minds, tell the future, the past.. see truth basically, know anything thats true... telekinetics, healing, morphing, giving signs, going into people’s dreams, emanate light, basically all the super powers I dreamed to have as a child.  Walk through walls? Sure thing! Anything you can imagine?  Im not sure about this one, but I am definitely open to it.

God tells me that if I really want this... I should imagine it as if it was really real, do I really want this? Nightmares I am bound to have... will I accept?

It is dark in here, no doubt it will be scary if my eyes are “openned”... will I accept?

Aaah the feeling of rejecting, fear, its not bad, its only different I must learn to accept different experiences, new things, if I want new things to happen, i must learn to take in the unknown if I want it to be part of me and my life.

I need to have a healthy body, to be able to open my mind more, I must be fearless, I must change my lifestyle so that these things come naturally.

So I am trying to pay more attention to things, not timewise, but intensitywise.. so Im paranoid of all movements, trying to see into what they mean, the trees waves its branches, the blinds swing back and forth,,, what is it,, from where? Something is definitely watching me.

Today I didnt want to get up, I just didnt feel like getting up or taking a shower or going to class... So I asked myself why.... although I did not come up with ann answer that would make me feel like getting up (and although I could have used another one of my methods), I eventually got up,,, for the sake of time...

This is what I wrote in essentials:::

Change your lifestyle....  The reason why you feel like you are missing, this is why I dont want to get up from bed, why I dont want to go to class, why I can only feel comfortable in my room, why I am insecure, because I may do the same mistakes again,... because I am still the same person that does mistakes that I have done before... I am hesitant, because I do not have the conviction, I have not made the decision that when I see the problem I will do different, I may avoid it, but thats not dealing with it..

·         I must change my lifestyle so that I have it in me, so that I NATURALLY do different when I come accross the same problem..

·         I may learn to accept the world with mistakes as my own... you know it is...but even though I may come to accept it, I will still want something new...

·         yes I may do the same mistakes again so I will use the next method...(basically learn as I go) the problem O have with it is that I may forget

When something comes to mind, declare it in many different ways  (good for studying as well)

Look down at your hand::: when anidea comes to mind,,, writing this down feels like such a relief, I dont know if its because I have just ran here, or because it may be the solution to ALL problems... (in a certain way that you must understand)...  Now when an idea comes to mind, you can either:

Ignore (bad):

Snooze it for a better time (may there be a snooze probem?):

Manifest it down: through language it is most efficient I think, maybe not, I think it would be most efficient through sharing of experiences, we are used to doing this by language..

Remember:  I bet this is part of one of the last ones, work...

Why I dont like learning by memory

Leaving stuff around

The more I find, the less I want? What would this lead to

So basically, I am suppose to be satisfied with life, and then what? So everybody is a slave, but they are satisfied? So I thought, in order for there ever to be ambition towards a goal, or something new, or balance or anything like it, we must crave change, not satisfaction of certain desires. Either that or awareness? Anyways...

So the decisions I make shall not be based on what I want, because I am suppose to be constantly accepting, and adapting to the world that I am in, so what do I base it on? Opportunities for change? What is important? Awareness?

Conflicting worlds, you act a certain way, to induce a certain environment, but there is a conflict,,, how do I win? Persistence? Persistenceworks the same way as repetition. The point is to allow them to see your world, and your actions as (whatever the goal may be). But there can be a constant missreading of the actions so that, persistence does not cover all situation, it only creates closed mindedness and confusion.

You bring upon yourself your own desire, if you want a certain world, you will act by it no matter what comes up...  then they send you to prison (this is a problem)... maybe not,

This is the example I have in mind, if someone acts out of mistrust, you dont pay eye for eye, because that will only spur an eye removing movement. You rather give an eye, so that your wish to replenish your own eye, is true in the world, with someone with the same value as you.  You make the world what you want it to be.

It may look like I am trying to get rid of the notion of meaning by proving things wrong, but its not that I want to tell that there is not meaning, but that there is more meaning than what you see.  My goal is not to eliminate meaning, but to complete it.