Walking to the library, I go over things in my mind: the world is so dark to me, and yet everything is perfect. Everything is indeed perfect, but then how am I blind? If my blindness is perfect, it means Im not suppose to try and avoid it. I think the answer to this is obvious; its not good that I am afraid of things, I should avoid things that are not good... no? everything is perfect, there is no need to avoid, not even blindness. But if I dont avoid it, am I not just going to stay blind? Am I not suppose to seek the Truth, and the Light? Am I not suppose to see how this world is perfect? Behold, the world is always perfect and does not need your approval. So what am I suppose to do with this blindness? Am I not suppose to get rid of it? When darkness comes and I know I dont see things, when I know I am wrong, but I still dont believe the Truth, am I not suppose to search for Truth? As I walked in the night, I shifted my thoughts from those things that I could not see to those things that I could see, and within these things that I could see, were the Truth. I was free again, I saw not any limits.
I read something yesterday that made me realize something, that evil comes from our mind. It exist because of our lack of using our imagination. We dont know how to use our mind to see blessings, we can’t see how the world is perfect.
Im listening to Alan Watts for the first time, he is my soul mate! So I was listening and somewhere he said to think of a certain thing and he implied a certain answer and I thought the the only reason I couldnt think of an answer was because he implied a command for me to not give an answer and just play along, so I did; but all of this is in the subconscious so that as I am playing along, I dont know that I have decided to. I wonder, if I decided to play along differently, like he commands me to be confused but I know a better script in which (let’s say) I have commanded him to command me so that I would make a joke of his command, and so we both have a laugh, where in my consciousness would I make the decision to play along like that?
Alan Watts talked about conformity, and the video is that of a rebel, against society yeah! No, the rebel has her own sins I am sure, and now I realize, everyone see truth in their own way, no matter how stubborn they are, they are just hearnestly searching for Truth.
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