I observe this one girl gets unreasonably annoyed when she thinks I want a favor, my ex-roommate must really like to talk, or is it all in my head? They do live in the same suite now. Or is it all in my head, as much as it would be in their heads. I cant stand it, these emotions, are not because of them, but because of my hatred towards life. These emotions are all mine, there is nothing to “fix” in the world, there is only me, and my dissatisfaction, my depreciation. I cant think about, how wrong they are anymore, how unfair it all is, how ignorant they are... now there is only me, and my emotions. Now I am only motivated to think about how much I love them.
Thinking about how unfair it is, how I cant get rid of my desire to “fix” things, I think of how I would be if I was perfect, and realize that the execution of my carnal justice will only be satisfying my imperfection, my weakness, though I may not remain blind to the continuous spirit I reject. It does not matter what happens on the outside, this spirit I hate will always exist.
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