June 16, 2011

I felt a little more of the real world for a couple of minutes last night,
it feels... greater than my imaginary world... bigger than the inside of my head.

In trying to quiet my mind…

I: Shut up! And Listen!

Me: (as I quiet my mind) I see a hawk flying across the sky and sense the wind of prophecy swooping across this moment!

I: Shut up! And Listen

Me: (as I quiet my mind) I see all of time convoluted into this one moment, there are no memories and all that has happened and will ever happen is here in these last three seconds, how can I ever feel nostalgic?  How can I ever feel like time passes by to quickly? How can…

I: Shut up! And Listen!

Me: What about my dreams of heaven? Should I shut those up as well?

I: Shut up! And Listen!

Me: what about the reasons I am doing this for?

I: SHUT UP! AND LISTEN!

Myself: Listen                

I: Don’t make sense of it, just…

Myself: Listen

I: shut up!

Myself: Listen

I: Shu…

Myself: Listen

You must give up your heaven… what you are doing this for.

So I quiet my mind, why do I still not feel good, why do I still feel lazy and miserable?

Because you still want to not feel this way.