People

File Location: My Words/Completion (What we know)/Achieving Awareness/Methodology/Explore/Objects/People

One very interesting thing to explore is the other external minds, to learn how they are similar or different to yours, to learn maybe a thought or a state of mind that you have never felt before.  To share with these “make believe” people, different ideas about what life is.  And you will find the most about interpretations of life from this source, because there is your world, but then there are many other worlds in the way that different people see them.  

You must explore the ideas and the reasons of how ither people work, how and why they dont get along sometimes, why are some people closed minded; sometimes by learning what other people go through you may learn about yourself. 

I must not deny life by ignoring this source, I must see how valuable a mind is, their lives, their convictions, how they are set up, their blocks and their dynamics, they are so complex but in the end you should find that they are not all that different from yourself.

                And there are so many different type of minds out there, to think that every one only thinks in one certain way is closed minded, sometimes you dont see it, but it may be the reason why you are not showing yourself for others to see right now.  Do not become prejudice because of what you see, because possibilities are endless, and there is always the unknown.  Therefore you must give each individual mind a chance, you must see their value, you may be cautious for the consideration of the other persons desires, and sometimes, as a sacrifice for the unknown, you may take a leap of faith.

And how do you give someone a chance to say their part, to listen to their interpretation of their world, their life? By accepting them (be aware that this is all only assumptions, and that it may be the case, according to unknowns, that the way to learn more about a mind you will have to reject them), and by showing that  you are interested in learning about them, and if you really do have that desire, why would you hide it? Why would you lie? Since you have the duty to expose the truth, you must s let ur interest be known, I say this with sympathy for the people of my culture that for some reason see merit in not showing interest towards who ever is around them, so that they appear independent, their self-sufficience is suppose to make them appear powerful, in some way.  And sadly I do the same, to not risk being weak, and fooled, but the truth is, that I am interested, in everyone, it doesnt matter how much they humiliate me for having such interest.

Girls: So I am concerned about girl topic, because I really like girls.  And so I use my concern as a prompt to figure out what girls are...  or what I want to know.  So my concern is that I wish I could kiss a girl, and well the best reference I can use is myself: there are all types of people out there, but there is a way that I can find a girl that wants a kiss, or that I can make a girl want a kiss; but there are problems that you need to consider (to consider you need imagination and an open mind), one problem is that even when they “want” to kiss, they have not considered it being real so that they cannot, by themselves, make sure that the possibility is manifested in reality.  Meditation Actualization of Actions.docx.  Same thing you do, but since you ar treating them as if they were alive like you then you need to take into consideration that they are going through the same process you are (gosh this is alot like math and logic... must not forget to “carry the one”... anyways, in an open mind, everything is automatically considered by spirit, and you wont need to “follow the steps” [as people tend to do in math], but you will only have to know how it makes sense [how a real math genius does math], since I am not in this good state of mind [and my God, the blindness defeats me], it seems like there is too many steps, and that I may forget something.)  Anyways, so back on the subject on how to get to kiss a girl...

October 26, 2009

I wake up, and I am afraid, I actually wake up the second time and turn on the music homework, and when I see a girl I think positive, but I am still afraid, I can feel it, I dont know of what though.  Im sure it will show up, then I will have to deal with it, I hope I figure out how by by then.

Philosophy Romanticism class:  “the monologue in your head, its not you, its a combinaiotn of outtside influences, then you want the monologue to shut up so you can reveal the unique genious, so how do you shut up the monologue?”  I laughed because thats what I was trying to do the day before... “do you  sit there and say, ‘shut up’?”  the monologue goes away when you listen to the music, because when you hear the music, the monologue is irrelevant. 

Responsibility, how you Respond...

Introspection

File Location:  My Words/Completion (What we know)\Achieving Awareness\Methodology\Explore/Introspection

People ask themselves why something happens bu they hardly ever take the time or make the effort to answer it.  People get concerned about it, but since that concern doesnt seem to contribute to their everyday setup they just ignore it.

                When you “feel like something” ask yourself why would you want such a thing, what makes you preffer such situation, take time to learn about yourself, and the reason why you do things, you spend enough time not thinking, why not think aobut these things once in a while.

                One way you could answer this, is to ask yourself, “what if”, if you were in such other situuation would you still, feel this way? What would make you stop feeling this, what would satisfy it, would you need a complete chaange or would you settle with a compromise?  What would you give up for it?

Here is an example of the advantages of introspection:

A couple of days ago... last Friday from September 14, 2009, on my way to Scribner’s office, Nick greeted me, I was a little lazy and weak minded, I said hey, a little confused, kinda shhook hands kinda hugged, didnt know which one to do, we didnt talk about much, awkward siilence? Im used to it, I have learned not to mind it, and I try to let others know (in an awkward way) that its really not that bad.  Anyways after the meeting I on my way out I decided to check out what they were doing (board and expressing thoughts on how people feel about christianity).  I saw, Keefe, I was sure going with the hug this time, why not? I talked to him morre because I wanted him to go over my writings, as I takled to him I was looking at Nick watching us talk, no hard feelings, why would he have any? He is not the type of person that would get jealous, really this was insignificant.  But as he looked our way I caught eyes with him, as I was talking to keefe, so me and Nick were looking at each other, unplanned awkward starring, I was just llooking around because I was,  but like in any other awkward moment one of us turns out looking the other way, Nick looked down.  He looked down because I was just starring him, not trying to stare him down, but just starring at him in my fogged mind.  It wouldnt mean anything, but the adjacency it had with the comparison of how I got along with Keefe compared with him, now it gives him a chance to think that he looked down, BECAUSE he was jealous.  I dont know what really went on in his mind, but I could see the way he looked down, it was combined with disappointment, sorrow.  He thinks he looked down because he was jealous, that is the automatic impression, when really its just because of the awkward moment, with introspection one is able to figure it out.  Example 2: I was working as a server, something new dish but I knew how to handle it, my body start to heat up, I thought I was gettinng nervous so I started getting clumsy and shaky.  Then I wondered, why am I even nervous? I know what to do, I am suppose to feel practical, like I know what I am doing, it may be a new dish but Iknow how its served, so why am I nervous?  It turns out I was never nervous to begin with, the heat from the food heaters, made my body hot and convinced it that it was nervoous so I started acting nervous.  It is the same technique detectives use when interrogating a suspect, they turn up the temperature in the room, if the  suspect is guilty, the temperature will make them think they are having trouble keeping their cool. 

Now its time to think critically about this: the advantages this new knowledge may have, the way that you deal with these sensations in your body convincing you that you are feeling a certain emotion is to address them and  convince yourself that these sensations are unreasonable, (whether the sensations are responding legitamately to your body or not?)  can your body tell the difference between legitamate response generated by an emotion in your body, and an external influence? Apparently not, tthe way your body heats up,then it heats up, the way you look down, then you look down, you can go with your mind’s initial interpretation of the sensation, or you can choose to address it and give it another interppretation, (whether the first interpretation was true or not), this means that you can calm yourself down where you typically tend to be nervous.  But you shouldnt lie to yourself about how you feel and why, but once you introspect, you should be able to find a reason why it is stupid to feel that way anyways. At least I have... with certain things.

And not only you can lie to yourself, but you can also confuse others about the connection between their own sensations and emotions,  this is why lies become true alot of times, if your friend is not the jealous type but you keep telling her she is jealous, or sad, unless she looks within herself to confirm by examining herself and her character, the lie will become true, she will be influenced by whatever is in her environment, and if she doesnt affirm what she believes, she will believe she believes whatever people say she believes.  Hitler knew this, and he used it well, “If you tell a lie long enough loud enough and often enough the people will believe it” and like what happens in the nature of lies, the truth, is disregarded.  It happens all the time, even when people are not being lied to, it is called neglection of truth, or reality, neglection of whatever is going on arounnd you.  If you do not become aware of what you really feel, then your truth will be your initial interpretation, then I would have gotten nervous for no reason, and Nick would feel jealous and disappointed, even if he really didnt care, though there is no reason for  it, for some people it takes time to get out of that mood, to realize it, even though they may never learn they were lying to themselves all along, and some people never learn.

Here is a make belief example:

I stay in my room because, I have alot of homework... my friend tells me that I stay in my room because I dont know how to make friends (which is true, but that is not the reason why I decide to stay in my room, I mean even if I dont know how to socialize Im pretty sure I can make a friend or 2 just by going out.  But since I have not examined and affirmed my reasons for staying in my room, I will begin to accept my friend’s reason.  I probably do stay in my room because of that (which is an unnecessary lie or an unreflected comment).  Then instead of staying in my room concerned about my homework, I now stay in my room dwelling on the tragedy that I dont know how to make friends.

So in the case of an introspection it is essential to ask yourself questions about what you believe

Emotions, what are they (for)?: I figured this out by introspection... something really useful and helpful.

So what I mind about people doing stuff, I dont care what they do, I am just concerned about their intentions, so if they have good intentions but cause someting negative, I will appreciate their intention rather then be angry at their result.  If they have bad intentions then its bad.  Well I believe I had a good intention when I was trying to expose the prejudice in people to prompt them to change their ways,  but I didnt realize that by making them feel bad I was closing their minds.  So I had good intentions though I was making them feel bad (remember this when dealing with other people because plenty do this, that though they have good intentions, it seems like they dont.)  In the end I think I had a good intention, or a bad intention (to make them feel bad) to accomplish a greater good (to prompt them to change).  the point is to think about what defines a good intentions so that it separates it from a bad intentions? One may answer, well its the kind of emotion you have when you are “intentioning” if you have a positive caring emotion, then its good, if you have a negative attack emotion then its bad; so you just feel it? 

But what makes an emotion good or bad? Well its the kind of belief you hold behind it I guess, point: that there is an intrinsic connection between beliefs and emotions.  So emotions reflect something that you believe.  Emotions are beliefs, so pay attention to your emotions because they will reflect things about you. 

So what does it mean to have a negative intention?  Maybe its somewhere along the lines of the goal being a selfish one, disregarding the being of others.  A positive intention is that which is selfless.

So what does it mean to be selfish? And to disregard others, why would this happen? And is this really happening? I think this would happen depending on the beliefs one has of what is important and how he sees the world and other people, what he believes the world to be... 

... So we went from emotion, and the reason he has those emotions is because of what he believes there is.  So what he sees, affects him emotionally.  And depending on each persons personal setup of belief, each one, when they see a certain object, effect, event, entity, etc., their beliefs about it will determine what emotions they have, because even though they are looking at the same thing, that thing reflects a different story according to their beliefs, and because they have different beliefs, they will feel differently about what they have seen.

If someone wants them to see the same thing, they would have to understand each others beliefs that decide what the “thing” means.

October 25, 2009

In the dish room, the only place where I can blast my favorite music... “mind if I put on the radio?” he said.  And it broke my heart, I told him he could, and hid my disappointment. 

Now I am blind, closed minded, focused on this threat, how can something so simple, make me this sad?  Just because they dont like my music; like I always say, its not the action, but what it means, it means that there is no where now where I can play my music, where I can express who I am, it means that I was wrong again in thinking that I would be accepted, it means that these picky people only accept from me what they like but once they see something they dont like they pretend to still be nice, when they are really brats. 

But why does it bother me that they only accept some things of me but not the rest, im sure i have done this before with others, just like I like girls to kiss them but not marry them.  This is a problem for those who think that a kiss means marriage.  And the radio was a problem for me that thought that progressive metal meant experimental.  But its because this girl perceived an act of love as love altogether, and I perceived a type of music to the rest of my weird music.  I wasnt ready to be rejected, I didnt think it would be, I was concerned about it though, and there it was.  So now I wonder it can happen again, and I dont want it to happen again.

But these changes, they are not suppose to upset me and close my mind... Im suppose to drift along with them, as if dancing to a new song.

I have arms, but I cant do anything with them (I dont know how to use them for), I CANT DO ANYTHING WITH MY ARMS, (I remember how I used them before to make someone happy), now there is nothing I can do with them, I cant see, I cant see what I can do with them, I cant walk I dont know how to use my legs... I want to see, I want to see the possibilities, but I am blind.  How do I open up my eyes? How do I realize I am alive?  How do I realize who You are? How do I realize that I am an angel, and that I have wings to even fly?  Im stuck in one world, how do I get out?

And so I wrestled with the thoughts, I thought of it as something that comes and goes, I thought of myself, picking up on an inspiration, but then coming back to this, and lwaving the inspired person I was behind, leaving those who met me confused, so that the plans I had, that I loved, were so easily thrown away.  This reminded me of one of my ex's, once inspired, then like nothing, like dead.  Maybe when I did the spell on her, to waken her, it made her demon pass on to me.  How considerate of me, now who would I give it to? It must make a really nice trick to torment someone as I am tormented, no... but who would be nice to take it from me, what if I asked a Intervarsity staff person to take it?  So that made me wonder how things like this can be contagious... Now I thought of my torment as a demon, “I will not give you to anyone” I told it, “I will destroy you myself”.  We wrestled, or my body just writhed, I laughed, as if it was him speaking, a deep laughter, then a more scratchy one.  I layed there just thinking... then I thought, no I have to take care of this guy, “cmon..” so I engaged in it again, writhed, then we laughed, the wrestling reminded me of rough play... I like rough play, so he said out loud, “lets be friends”, and I said concerned, “yes, lets try that”  I looked toward God, and He gave me the thumbs up... trying something new is good. 

I think though, that being friends with it, means living with prejudice... ugh, its not what I want, God help please.

Maybe I am suppose to litterally look around and pay attention to things to get back my sight, think of one thing then another then another, and make this and that, and so I thats kind of what I did, then I did this and that and went here and there and so...

October 23, 2009

Okay so in think about how all this works, that it doesnt matter what I want to know my mind will search for it on its own and no matter what it is, it will find the answer I am looking for, as long as I have not the prejudices that deny the answer.  Because of this, the answer we waant does not come when we are trying to think of it, but when we feel it less, when we are not trying to think of it, when we are listenning and letting it come, just listening.  It depends on what we want in our lives that our bodies, our minds will decide what to give us.  Those things that we contemplate and hope for, andspend sometime acknowledging our earnest desire for it... something like that.  Anyways, we cant get to these answers by reasoning out some points, because that would be using the prejudices of our minds to derive it, but when we use the prejudices of our mind we are actually rejecting the answer it is trying to tell us because it doesnt make sense to us.

So first of all, how does it know the answer?  I dont know, I guess it depends on where your desire is, on what level of reality, and how legitamate you want the answer to be.  I guess it depends what level of assumptions you are willing to accept as true in the answer the you aspire towards... what I am trying to say is... your mind knows that if all you hernestly care about is bullshit sex, and do not care about keeping yourself safe for love, then it will give you bullshit sex; only if you admit  that thats what you only care about and that if, honestly, there was anything greater that you may not know, that you wouldnt hold it into well being just because you dont know it (in other words, you are being ignorant of the possibility of anything greater, and even if you knew you were being ignorant, you would still accept your ignorance), then it will give it to you.  So basically, if you want to be famous, and you were to sell your soul to the devil to achieve that; then you would become famous.  Second example: if you want to be famous, and you decide that you should not pursue it because the vanity that comes to you from being famous is a bad thing, and something you dont want, then the range of possibilities that could happen is that you become famous without being vain, or you become famous, but if you had an honest concern about this, then  you wouldnt be vain by fame. 

This is all so hard to explain and I dont think the examples I gave do any justice to what I am trying to say.  But the point is, that your mind lowers it standards according to your level of reality, and the possibilities in reality that you are willing to consider.  And what I mean by “your mind” I mean the thing that decides what it will tell you and let you know, so that you reach your honest goals.

So where does God go in all of this? God remains here, where the infinite is, in our world, where the Unknown is, God is all of this that we understand, and much more.  God knows that everything that I am coming up with, no matter how well it works and how much it makes sense, it is still only an idea by a human and ever-biased mind, God is Truth, the Truth we may never reach.  God is what we are suppose to aspire to as so we do not close our minds but become aware of the possibilities of reality, which are in fact infinite, if we aspire to this Infinity, then this Infinity will be our hernest desire, and the standard by which our minds decide how to answer our prayers.  Whether God has a conscious mind, that is such a strange question it is like He does and He doesnt; He doesnt because all Infinity is, is a standard that we are suppose to aspire to, and our minds will give us the blessing of reaching it; and He does have a conscious mind in the sense that Infinity and the Unknown is in our minds, working through it in our terms, but we really should not degrade Infinity to terms of consciousness or unconsciousness. Infinity if anything would only be greater than anything than we can imagine, so consciousness just becomes another superficial factor, like asking if God is African or yellow skinned, God is so over those things, that asking if God has a consciousness or not is such a strange question, specialy when you think about how consciousneess is only a figment, a creation of the human mind.  God is everything greater than anything, Infinity, and just because it may not be conscious in terms of humanity, it does not  mean that it would not understand us, but because it is Infinitely greater and Ever-present in even our reality, that it still understands and works through us.  We do not understand Infinity, but it understands us, because we are in it, we are part of it, and it works through us.

So the point I was trying to make, is that depending on the honest desire, and our consideration for life, that we have had, and for the possibilities our reality, our honest considerations.  Our mind will answer our prayers and desires according to what we consider reality to be, it will make your life an intricate puzzle that should lead you to your ultimate goal in the end.  So it depends on the standard that our mind has, where it will take us within this Infinity.  This is why not everyone will reach heaven, this is why some will die off and never know, and some will live an eternity in hell, this is why animals dont go to heaven, because they do not consider life and reality like we do (well, we really do not have a right to say, whether even the rocks can see us, since we have never been any of them before).  And it may also turn out, that deep within the arrangement of our structure, since we all exist, we all  aspire infinitly to Infinity.  My point being that, I dont know, and I probably do not have a right to declare any of this because of the level of reality that it takes place in.  And by level of reality I mean the amount of assumptions that we need  to take as “facts” in order to understand it, or to create that reality.

So recap of today’s subject, our mind knows what to give us depending on the level of reality that our honest desires are in, and what possibilities we have taken into consideration.

And now thinking through all of this, then I listen to music which I thought was impressively meaningful in terms of content and subject, but now those things which they consider, which I once though were meaningful and beautiful, I  now see it as vain as lust poetry.  And how do you determine if it is I or the world that is becoming insane, and what does that matter in such a state as mine.  If you think I am just going crazy, you can kill me, but you will all still be stuck in your reality which you know nothing of, and of course you know nothing of it, just ask God.

October 22, 2009

There is a certain form of thinking that prompts one to listen, you listen, what is it like to listen? By listenning I mean those moments when you get ideas, when you “read minds”, or when what you want to know, comes to you.  There is a certain way to listen to these, when you dont have prejudices I said it before, thats when you will hear them, thats when you will accept what it says, but how does one do this, is not easy, or how is it done? 

There is a state in which it comes, what is this state, I was sitting on a rock today, trying to remember somehting again, while my mind thought of what I was trying to remember, as I decided to save it for later it came to me again, from another direction just like the last time, this is what it is? I wondered why, and how it came to me, it seemed like it came when I was not trying to think about it anymore, just like how people remember things only after they give up trying to think about it (and I remembered an instance of this a couuple of weeks ago, well actually I think it was this Sunday, when someone at church was trying to think of a name, and he said he would let it go since it would takke time but as soon as he said that he remembered.

Question is: why is it so?

So I started thinking of this state, and what it is. It sounds like these things are suppose to come spontaenously, without you trying to think of them, if you try to think of them they will not come, because they would not be spontaenous.  I guess that when you are trying to think of something, you are applying prejudices, you aer trying to think of it in terms of those prejudices by which you are trying to think of it from, directing your thoughts to a certain place, when in fact you are not suppose to have prejudice as you want to know, you are just suppose to listen without a question without denying it with whatever evidece or past experience you may have.

So this is how they come, but if you are not trying to think of them (the problem is) how will it ever be known, so you are suppose to want to know but not try to make it or look for it, but just let it in.  This may be confusion because you should only just “let it in” so it seems that you aer suppose to not care if it walks in or not, but if you dont care, it seems to mean that you dont really want it, and if you dont really want it then how will it ever come to you?  I guess what one has to do is to admit  they want it (how much do they have to admit before they convince their mind to look for the answer for them?)m and  then just let their mind wonder.  And why does it  work like this anyways?

So why is it called spontaenous? Why does it feel that way? Because you are not thinking of prejudices that you feel are suppose to lead to it, when actually those prejudices have no connection with it (at least in your mind, which is why thinking of those prejudices will not help you remember.  So if its not the prejudices that helps you remember but it is only the desire, your soul desire for it without identifying what it is.

Emotions without a name: I just woke up from my nap and my roomate was trying to tell me something, I told him to not talk, to hold on. I was trying to remember something and I didnt want him to distract me, as I slowly lost what I was trying to remember, I told him I was trying to remember something, he told me I must have a really bad memory, I said that its just that the things I was trying to remember did not have a name and thats why it was so hard.  He said he was confused, I said I was too, he said “what?”, I said I was confused to as I have problems thinking and tryinf to remember these things they leave me confused, most time or not.  He was telling me how I was talking in my sleep, I know since I wwas awake thorught some of it, “It wasnt spanish thought”, I told him, and when I told him that I thought and said, “HEY! I must have been speaking in toungues”. He asked what it was and I told him about acts and the tounges of fire and what not, and that you speak only that God understands.  “So that means I got the Holy Spirit!!” I said, “well either that or I got demons from my friend who got possesed a couple of days ago”... I told him that he knew him but that I wouldnt say who.  He said he didnt care.  Then I told him that it was weird because there was anouther time when I was half awake and I was trying to phrase out everything I was thinking to remember it, putting parts and parts of it in words to get each out and maybe a whole, but I forgot everything because as I became more awake, the more I lost and I never wrote it down. So its like things that I can only think while I am dreaming, that I can only understand in that state, words that only make sense in dreams, since I dont believe that the words that I did manage to put together (that I still dont remember) made any sense.  So he said, “but I thought you couldnt remember”, I said, “well yea cuz these things dont have a name so its really hard to pinpoint them to remember.”  Then I thought of why people speak in toungues and I think it may be because of  this, that there are no words in our language to describe the things they feel or are thinking about.

The opposite

File Location: My Words/Completion (What we know)/Achieving Awareness/Methodology/Explore/Objects/The opposite

What seems to be working for me, is to do what I dont feel like.

How do I change my lifestyle and the way I do things?

I simply go against my habits, my comfortable ways of doing things, I do what I dont feel like. 

Things that support  this, is the fact that we must be curious to explore the places we are not at, and go away from the things that we have become numb to.

I think this is the simplest way to judge a path to take to be creative, that instead of doing what you want, You do something else.

Welll its not exactly the opposite, but you are suggesting an alternative.  And it is so obvious to understand this, if you want to be in another world then you must go not here.  The place you are in is already settled, you here have your comfort and your habits, and you always do what you want if you can.  You should not complain of  the fact that you are here unless you want to be somewhere else, and if you want to be somewhere else you should walk, duh.  There are people who complain that they are tired of their lives living the same thing every single day so that it feels like they have no purpose and all they did was worthless and wasted.  They are tired and numb of the life they are living, they even become depressed because nothing is interesting, nothing is worth looking at, they are not curious about the next day, its just the same thing over and over again, they already “know everything” that their life is composed of, everything is predictable, how can this happen in such an infinite world? and there seems to be no liberation.  And yet, many of these people do not walk, even when the gate is open, and even when the fields are flat, they stay in the same place, complaining that they wish to move.  Not knowing that they have legs, not knowing that they have power over their legs.  I  guess they dont know this because no one ever told them, or because they always expect nature to carry them around (those things that happen without our control), and most of the time they even complain because nature tries to carry them somewhere else.  They complain because they are in the same place all the time, and they get upset and uneasy at any attempt to be moved.  Could this be the same with the infinite aspects that we seem to not have control over, we think we have no control over our emotions, we think we cannot move, though we have legs, we dont know to use them, we dont know that we are able to.  And so maybe many other things that look like we have no control over, but its just limbs that have yet to be discovered.

Anyways so the way that you go against your inclinations can be difficult if you dont tamper with the idea of what an inclination is.  The typical understanding in our culture of an inclination is that you are tempted, and so you must satisfy the desire by achieving what your mind has set before you along with the desire.  But now to tamper with it, you must not think of the inclination as something that you need to satisfy (or with anything specific).  whenever you crave something you can read the craving as just another impulse, of nothing in particular, just an impulse, disregard the direction, its an impulse, an impulse to do what? Now you decide...

You know you can satisfy your craving for food, by going out for a run?  You know you can satisfy american hunger by drinking lots of water and looking the other way?  Im not sure if this can lead to serious depravation issues, but if it can, well you know to choose wisely.

So thats what I am doing and I have been getting the temptation to cheat to not go against my inclinations, but I am doing my own thing.  Whenever I feel like staying in my room I go outside, whenever I say, gosh I dont wanna get up to do that, I get up and do it.  My comfort becomes a sign for movement, something that I must avoid, my fear becomes a wink from curiosity.  Where ever I dont feel like going, thats where I should go, where ever I sense insecurity, there I must become secure.   Uncomfort is a call for adaptation, fear is a signal for conquering, and anger teases understanding.  Sadness is..., ... is..., ... is....

And these emotions must be understood in this way.