I am still so confused these days, I have sort of completed laying out the foundations of my beliefs but I havennt gone any farther because there is another tangled jumble I need to sortt before I can follow through anything. But I have only done enough to change and to live and what not, I at least feel an incentive now. I am still so confused, I dont know who I am, and I change from one moment to annother into one thing or another, I dont know who I want to be, so I dont hold on to anything, I just move and move, but I dont know how to control it, it just happens sometimes whatever is in the way; because my desires depend on my identity, alot of times my identity does not the desire to complete the tasks of another or to even move into the identity to have those desires. I am so confused these days, sometimes I believe somethings sometimes I believe others, my dreams are always stories and stories with passion. Sometimes I wake up and I dont know where I am, and I dont always wake up from sleep. I am constantly changing, I am going through a crisis, and my brain isnt good enough to hold, I want it to be. Thwew is something that I am desperate for, something that I seek, something that I crave, it is not something material, it is not an emotional need, it is not a comfort or a pain; so only by God I can receive. I want an idea, I want a thought that will make all of this clear, I want a state of mind that will bring euphora from all this chaos, I want a wisdom, and then want more. Its all in my head, and I need to find.
No comments:
Post a Comment