Reading on Tantra I compare my steps. I think about them in terms of tantric methods, and realize that God has a plan for me; or at least provided me with the “meaningful life” that I had always asked him for.
In my mind there are many visualizations of the universe which can certainly be used as methods to strengthen, change, or discipline the spirit to increase the awe in everyday life. Just right now I felt how every little action each one does changes completely the fate of the universe from the great strangeness that it might have turned out to be.
To make the spirit invisible, rid of responsibility, untouchable by this world’ how every little action affects, the universe in other’s eyes, that the existence of the human being as we know it depends on the smallest details of their actions and yet, that is not his essence, he is free from judgment.
In my mind there come dreams and fantasies of greater awe, emotions that are reserved for novels, music and other works; these deep feelings are the essence of musical enjoyment. These emotions come as part of our own world as I visualize the many aspects of this universe. I get this all the time, ways, paths to make our greatest dreams, those dreams deep inside our soul. Those dreams that we have given up on, because to us they seem unattainable, in our culture, they seem unattainable to the point that they seem illogical; illogical to the point that they seem ungraspable; ungraspable to the point that we cannot even visualize; unable to visualize to the point that we don’t even think they exist; inexistent to the point that they seem meaningless; meaningless to the point that they seem silly; silly to the point that they seem immature; immature to the point that they seem like a regress; regress to the point that they seem evil to even think of them… and that’s where all the flavor of life has gone.
But I have these all the time. They are too common to me, poetry that would bring these back to life. But I do not write them down because I am in search of something greater than these methods.
Because not matter what dream we achieve, in time it becomes the insipid wind each one of us tastes today.
This element that I search for not only allows us to reach our hidden dreams but will reveal the dreams within our present state and within the time we once considered wasted years; it will reveal the dreams within the actions we once considered a waste of time; it will reveal the intentions that we considered a waste of action; reveal life within those entities that spurred death, decay, failure, meaninglessness, inaction, pointless idleness. It will reveal the light within the thickest darkness.
The trick is not to despise desire, but if trying to do anything to seek a greater world beyond this desire. Even if the interpretation provides happiness or a sort of satisfaction it is only a conditional universe, as corruptible as those dreams that force hell upon souls.
Desire- Present reinforcing the bonds that pull one apart and recognizing the system as whole in its paralysis (is this bad?).
Paralysis: indecisiveness due to conflicting desires.
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