I think the mood pills started working yesterday, I was actually happy for once. I am trying to notice what makes the difference.
3 possibilities of why I am happy:
1) Pills started working
2) Was really inspired by Sharazan lyrics (Italian version)
3) Was inspired by the amount of correlation I found in discussing Wittgenstein class.
But all or any of these may be just a result of something deeper.
I notice that I am letting myself off easy, and look to find a positive purpose forthings, the difference is that I don’t know why (well not really a difference). But will I even try to figure out why I see thing the way I do, if I am happy?
I am pretty sure I can. I don’t think it is about being happy, though I am happy I still seek to be Complete.
So if it is the pills (or any other reason that makes me happy), I can still decide to stay ignorantly happy or be serious… the difference is that everything flows a little smoother (there is certainly less “mental sludge” that gets in the way of trying to figure out what I want).
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