April 20, 2009

I think everybody is to blame for not speaking up against me, they never tried to correct me.

I act out my dissappoinntment and expect nothing from them, as they did nothing in the first case, just stay away freaks of nature, grow some balls, and get some social skills, learn different cultures and learn to accept others for who they are, stop getting so butt hurt for no reason, and if you do get butt hurt then DO something about it.  I will now do nothing because thats how things seem to work around here, right? Just stay quiet, dont confront, just report it, but dont try to fix it yourself.  You have a problem? Just report it and give off mean looks to those who have offended you, even if they are unaware of it, it isnt your job to tell them that you have a problem with their behavior, just report it.

Our choice of Goodness

File Location: My Words/God/Our choice of Goodness

And now I may hold that I dont know the difference between good and bad, that the sensations that my body gives me, are just those, but how do I know which sensations and effects to reject, to not desire.  God made us, sin exists, does God not know sin? God knows sin, sin is a reality, but i sin part of reality? Why then do we reject it, it is only in OUR nature, but thi does not mean that sin is evil.  Everything that is and that there is, is our world.  God offers us what we want, only one domain of the infinite of eternal gifts, we only want one, which is eternal life and goodness.  But I believe God reaches beyond these things, and can offer more than what we know, but it is not what we want.

God the Locked

File Location: My Words/God/God the Locked

God the Locked!!  Those who search for Truth but find damnation.  Those who search for Infinity but find Nothingness.  God has kept them away, the Great God has Locked them away with a Great Lock, from his presence, from knowledge of him, from Enlightnement.

Then God laughs!

Then there are those who claim to know, they claim to know what he is.  But really its nothing, anything they claim can be marked as false, anything they grasp is deniable.  God remains the unknown, is He good? Is He evil? I pray to Him.  Him that is without an alias, without a face, without an account, remains alone; the Mysterious, He is  locked away, some eternal haven is the unknown.

Prayers

File Location: My Words/God/Prayers

_On a night at the Lodge at Pine Springs Ranch, I walked in search for one of God’s wonders I spoke to God in prayer, as I waited to see yet another shooting star.  Confused about what Word was, should I believe the Bible and only the Bible, arranged by Constantine the founder of paganic christianism.

“Tell me God!!! Should I eat and consume these Words!!!?? Should I live by, should I believe this so-called... (and instead of saying, I was stopped by the sight of a shooting star, as I felt it underline the word that was in my mind and not yet out of my lips... Truth)”

_ So I was praying once and I told God “wow God, you are unbelievable!” and then he says... get this he says, “well that explains why so many people have stopped believing in me.”

_I had just watched the movie “American Me” and I noticed that I was beginning to act like the people in the movie, taking their gestures, their mentality, their spirit.  “Oh God no!!! Tell me why I shouldnt feel this way God, tell me why the lives of these people are a unacceptable to you!!”  They act this sort of way, Santana does not even know how to dance or make love, he does not even do drugs he lived his life making “respect” his only god;  his goal in life was to gain respect and to be honored and feared.  He knew no other life, he did not wonder of any other aspect.  He did not wonder about life, he did not even know he was alive, he was as alive as a rock!!! (well you are gonna have to check on rock morality to see if thats a good put-down). They lived to gain respect and to be known, oh my God would Jesus go after such goals?!?!  They could have really learned something from Jesus, they would accepted Jesus with no problem!!! Would they even question Jesus’s actions like scholars do? NO! Of course they wouldnt! Seeing how they like to feel like they belong and how easily they are influenced by others, all they need, to believe, is some encouragement and affirmation from enough people.  Wow, this is really a place where the gospel would have full effect!! Where people are focused on other gods and they are unreflective, they wouldnt even think about it, they would just accept it since everybody else is doing it.  This reminds me of “zeitgeist” saying that christianity was for the poor, to control them and keep them in their place, it seemed that way when thinking about it, i dont know how it would have worked but just the fact that they would accept it and respect it and look up to it without reflection.  “So where am I then. Is Jesus only a tool to control the poor?  Well Jesus may be but my God is not.  And I am sorry God if it sounds like I am denying your Son, but I must wonder: what would I choose if it turned out that to find the Eternal the Greatest God, I had to deny...” (then God says: “Me”).  I am left astonished at the thought, what had God just told me?  That the Highest God is Higher than who I was praying to?....(awww).  Oh God too Great to hold in my mind, a God Higher than you? I felt to ignore the “God” I was praying to, and focus on this even Higher God, but then I realized that the True God would be even Higher, I writhed at the thought, “where are you Lord? How High are You? I am left less than life when I think of your Greatness,  How dare me open my lips to You! How dare me complain to You! How dare me to think that anything in my life matters! When I wonder your Greatness, I am as a grain of sand, an inanimate puppet, I SHOULD NOT EVEN BE ALIVE!!! So why do you have me here Lord? Where am I and what am I worth? You have given a body, you have given me abilities, WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO WITH ALL OF THIS, WHEN I AM NOT EVEN ALIVE!?!?!”  I felt to not move, in front of such a Great thought, and it was not even His Greatest, I felt like my life was worth death, my consciousness was as good as a calculator’s, I am dead, my spirit is worth nothing to me since it is not even mine.

There are people who wonder, and people who dont.  I had this aspect with God where I was pointless and then He let me know of my worth, “I am a creation of the Lord now live and do His will” (another aspect).  So I am able to travel from world to worlds within God?  But what about those worlds without wondering of God?  Are they not seperate aspects and therefore worthy of being experienced, studied?

Subject Matter (Knowledge)

File Location: My Words/Completion (What we know)/Subject Matter (knowledge)

To begin this subject I am going to start off with pointing out the problems in science and the pomp of human minds when it comes to, discovering and knowing the world.  It is true we are able to predict certain things and its true that, for the most part and only for the most part, it comes out true.  Scientific results are existant, there is no denying it, but the results of scientific experiments are only accepted because of the tendencies of the physical world; tendencies are invalid support when trying to justify something logically.  And even if it was true that science had Eternal incorruptible results and predictions, still what do we really know about the world?  Does  being able to predict certain things make us dignified of worship? Does this mean that we understand how the world works, what it is made of? And does this say that we can control the world , our lives and our destiny? Does this make us gods?  Materialist atheist scientist seem to think so since they have developed the pride to say that humans will inevitably know everything at some point in the life of humanity, that it is a sure proven Truth that there is no God.  How can people believe that the human mind can understand the wonderous utter infinity of Reality?   Saying that a human mind understands reality would be like saying that a rock understands the complete complexities of consciousness.  Atheism developed from “logic” and “science” is as much a scam as christianity is, as portrayed in “Zeitgeist”.

The way that we live everyday life, does not show that we know anything about reality, but only shows that we have fooled ourselves to think that the world is real and consistent .  Of course the world that is observed seems to be real and consistent, but its only accord to human minds and senses.  I am proclaiming that we only know what is given to us, only what is fed to us by our senses; but what our senses tell us has nothing to do with reality and the world.  What we live by is only hope that things exist, and we are in denial to admit that there is no way to prove that the laws of nature are eternally constant or that what we touch is actually solid, or that what we remember has actually happened, there is no way to prove that what we sense is the only things that exist!!!  Science is based on assumptions from the beginning, assumptions that scientist themselves have invalidly, without logic, accepted as Truth.  Who knows what the world really is, we are not alive enough to know.  When we truly use truth for truth, we realize that we live in an unknown world.  Nobody knows where we live or where we are.  Nobody knows the properties of the unknown, and the unknown is now, the unknown is here the unknown is with us.  Knowledge is not even a property of human lives; what is a property of human lives is pretending that knowledge is a property of human lives; delusion and unjustified belief.  We do not deserve to live, we do not deserve to say, do not say even a word, do not even look, because your thoughts are a disgrace to Truth, you lie by thinking, and then you lie by saying that your lies are truth, and even worse; you lie by saying that your lies are Truth.  But how can I say that we do not know anything, that knowledge for human beings does not exist.  The truth is that I know that we know nothing, but the truth is that I do not know, but even then, the Truth is... (I can’t say, my mind is unworthy to declare) the Truth is...

                Like Des Cartes I want to start of with foundational beliefs and work towards the external world from there, but unlike epistemology, which goal is to discover what we know as an end, and we MUST know it, I am going to accept those things that we may never know, and point out those things that, human beings may consider true, from those things that human beings may asume in real life to be able to live normally, and such things that we have good reasons to assume but that we must declare that at anytime and any idea, we should give them up.  I also want to clarify the reasons why certain things are morally acceptable to assume, for the sake of humanity and life.

                Why we believe.

                What we know.

                What we should look for.

                 The Truth.

                The lies.

                Assumptions, that make our universe.

Spirits

File Location: My Words/God/Spirits

Witchcraft, Spirits, ghosts, visions, acts of God, these things that are not experimented by science, and are said and believed to not exist.

Some say it may just be a force, or a demonstration of how far the power of suggestions can go.  But seriously, the results of these things are unpredictable and they even seem to be unaffected by our perspectives; like if they have a mind of their own.  AMAZING!!  Could it be that the power of suggestion can bring in NEW knowledge into your head (as so it happens when getting messages from spirits).

I understand that in some cultures that it is believed for a number to be bad luck, statistically, there are more deaths on the day matching that number than any other day (i.e. there are more deaths in America on Friday the 13 than any other day.)  These I understand to be power of suggestion.  Since I believe that the deaths happen because they expect it to happen, so they bring it upon themselves.  But new information is different.

There is something bugging my mind that I must bring out, maybe it could be that the power of suggestion brings out “new” information, but it is only thought too be new.  The way this happens is that, the subconscious mind stores information but does not consciously sort it out.  It is possible that you figure out many truths about your everyday life if you only knew how to figure it.  Once you “summon a spirit” to provide you with “new information” by the power of suggestion you come to understand the world in this certain regard.  And as reported, by the power of suggestion, everyone hears the same message, physically, to explain the “new information” into their minds. (highly unlikely if you ask me.

And the way the exmples of how God works also tell me of a higher force, other than plain suggestion.  Peradventure, you are participating in a competition, the power of suggestion will have it that if you believe you are going to lose you will lose, and if you believe you will win, then you will most likely win.  (This is disregarding those other situations where blindess of predetermined results come into play, which in itself is a whole different concept.)  But the way God has worked in lives it is apparent that the result does NOT depend on the “suggestion” of the individual.  There are instances where God promises a curse, and it does not matter how must one ignores it it still happens.  Where does this power come from? The power for a message to have so much influence on reality, a simple message can change reality no matter what we do or even when no one hears the message, if it is said it is done, disregarding the “suggestion” of the individual.  Or an instance where God blesses, and no matter how much one feels cursed and defiled, the blessing still come,  the results of these blessings are in no accord to the perspective of the individual, like if there was a separate force that had a mind of its own, like if a third consciousness was involved in the ordeal between you and your “suggestion” that causes you to believe in God or not (it does not matter if you believe in God or not, blessings and curses still come about, as detailed [as reported])

Doubting and Atheism

File Location: My Words/God/Doubting and Atheism

Admitting there is no God. I understand the reasoning.  One tries to grow up. You see people try to believe that there is a God just to feel good about themselves, just so they can have a motive and so that a purpose in life exists for them.  This is why good atheists dont believe in God, they just dont want to feel as if they were lying to themselves in life.

The same goes for skeptic philosophers, they understand that there is no way to prove life and the external world.  Believing in God day to day is like believing that your eyes can see, and that what your eyes see, is the real world.  If you felt peace to believe in God inthe previous statement you did not understand it.  I am not saying that believing in God is as logical as believing in our observations of the external world, I am saying that believing in ouir observations of the external world is as absurd as believing in God; although, because of relativeproperties, both staements are saying the same thing.

I hope there is a better way to understand, but I wouldnt be surprised if God was unprovable, that may be a property of being God.

Sometimes I think, we are not real, me, my mind, if anything is real, it is reality, not me, I dont see how i can be real. If anything is real it is reality, oh imaginary reality.  Only You can be real, You are reality, you are in control.  Where are You, reality? Where is your dwelling place, why are you in darkness, away from us, giving us a dream to live in and leaving us alone, to believe the illusion that we are real on our own.  Yes there are actuually people, How can they be so pompous to say that they are real, to ignore all that is not in this world, because this world is as real as it will get. How can they say that they are God? deciding what can be believed to be real and what cant be believed to be real.

 By pity  God alllows them to believe that reality lies in their world,  God laughs at them, their childish thoughts, their immature beliefs, God says: “you have no idea what it is like to be Real, you have no idea how if feels to be Alive, you have no idea what it means to have a mind a consciousness. Oh poor humanity how dead you are, you are fooled by your world, your mind is worth the mind of a rock. If only you would talk with me you would know that it is not me who is in question of existence, it, it... it is you.”

“Why you dont even understand the meaning of life, it not the answer the drives you, but the question.  When it has been right in front of you your whole life. A way, a way to kill me, to destroy reality, to make you Gods as infinite as I. Yet your limits they keep you in place, time has its course, Existence, I, has decided, forever, the law, what has been and what is to come, and though you arfe fragile, I will forever stand, because I already am, and you have never been.”

Taunt  us, oh Mighty God, tell us how miserable we are, how stupid we are to pretend to know, to believe that we know, to say that our world and our laws are eternal.  Taunt us please, by your taunt we receive wisdom, Punish us, humiliate us, by thisTruth is enhanced; play with our lives confuse us all, throw us all from delusion to delusion, this will be a blessing from your hand.  And by this if you sin against us, there will be no one to Judge you, and you will still be rightessness.  Because what ever you do becomes right, if you ever change the world then it has always been the way you made it.  You break promises, then you have never made them.  You have told lies, then those lies are really the Truth.  Whatever you do wrong, from the beginning it has always been right.  Why wont anybody understand this?!?!  Excuse humanity for its stupidty, its immaturity, dont listen to those who question, pay no attention to those who demand from you a sign; leave us in darkness, and as long as it is your Will, it will be the Right.  Destroy us all, break your covenant, disrespect your creation oh God, take away our “rights” take away our free will. Why dont you bless us with your wonders,with your acions, with your sins.

Here comes our end, In vain we worship you, in vain we try to earn your favor.

Here comes our doom, the God of all Infinity has decided, we are his puppets, his toys without life.

Why would we think of demanding benevolence from Him, just because He said that He was righteous.

Why would we think of claiming His promises, just because He made them.

It is true, we are far from understanding how we should fear the Lord, pathetic Christians, they worship a god of love, they say that fear means respect, that fear means love, but this is because they worship the god of love, not the One True God.  When we learn more of who  God is and what Infinity means, then we will really fear the Lord.  Then we will realize how wretched our life is, and stil this wretchedness,  is a blessing and we thank the  Lord for this ultimate blessing.

This ultimate blessing, an illusion, an art, a taste of a delusion of life.

This ulttimate blessing, a finite world, only to tempt us to live.

Bless us oh God, with your will, your Heaven, your Doom, You.

Bless us oh God, with your will, your Heaven, your Doom, You.

This ultimate blessing, a finite world, to tempt us to live.

This wonderful blessing, this painting, an art, a taste of wonder in a world not enough.

Still enough to squirm out tears, we are afraid, and we wait,those who await, your Great blessing, Your awesome decision, whatever you choose for us, it will be heaven, and you have decided.  You have made us to yearn for you and to seek out your truths. You have decided Heaven for us, an eternity with you, and though a wretched life this might have been, the fact that you decided, made it so.  Choose what we want and we will want it, change your mind and we will forget.  Choose our heaven and we will yearn for it, choose us to love hell and we will love it, change your mind, and that change will have always been.  We are at your command. We are only figments of your imagination oh Great God.

We claim your promises because you made us to love your promises and integrity.

We demand benevolence from you only because you told us to ask it from you. (why else would we love it?)

Here comes our doom, the God of all Infinity has decided,  we have free will and we are offered a taste of life.

Here is our end, in vain we worship you, without our efforts we have your favor.

Curse us oh God, Keep your covenant and your promises, oh why have you decided to destroy us with your love.  Why have you decided to make our lives miserable with your salvation.  We only  love your salvation because you have made us to.  Why have you cursed us by giving us the right and the free will to demand from you purity, to desire to be like you.  Why do you curse us with disgrace with death and with purity?  Pay attention, listen to our requests for Truth, excuse humanity for its stupidity, but we just want to know. Because your will has been not to keep us in darkness, now we ask. You have made us declare that you have never told lies and and your promises are always kept.  And you Judge yourself correctly as righteous.  Show us who you are tell us what Truth is. Correct us, when we are not in your steps, we are your puppets, we dare not detach from our master.

God says: “You do what I say, and my will is done, If you are frustrated with the idea of me it is because I have willed it so, Why you dont even understand who I am or what I want.  You have the illusion of having “Truth” but the Truth is within me, only  I know the Truth, I AM THE TRUTH!! And it is concealed at my will.  Oh  how I have fooled you all, I laugh at your hope, your attempts to receive salvation, In the end I decide what it is that I have decided since the beginning of time,  and even if I decide to save no one but those who hate me, who will dare question me?” In the end, I decide what Reality has been, and THAT will be Real.  You dont decide whether you are Real or not, I do.”

It is true, we are at the mercy of an Infinite Being, and what he decides we shall do,wether we like it or not.  But what does it matter to us, when the thing that is in us, that decides what matters, is only as real as He makes it.  In Reality our choice, our desires may not even exist.  And by His command, we may never know. 

------The imagination is at the mercy of the imaginator.

Our own eyes are fantasy they only see what the light gives them, just like the skin can hardly sense distance, and the ears can hardly sense taste. So our eyes cant see, and all our senses, are subjected to only this only what we see, but even if we had infinite senses we would still be blind. We would still be apart from truth.

I hope there is a better reason