_On a night at the Lodge at Pine Springs Ranch, I walked in search for one of God’s wonders I spoke to God in prayer, as I waited to see yet another shooting star. Confused about what Word was, should I believe the Bible and only the Bible, arranged by Constantine the founder of paganic christianism.
“Tell me God!!! Should I eat and consume these Words!!!?? Should I live by, should I believe this so-called... (and instead of saying, I was stopped by the sight of a shooting star, as I felt it underline the word that was in my mind and not yet out of my lips... Truth)”
_ So I was praying once and I told God “wow God, you are unbelievable!” and then he says... get this he says, “well that explains why so many people have stopped believing in me.”
_I had just watched the movie “American Me” and I noticed that I was beginning to act like the people in the movie, taking their gestures, their mentality, their spirit. “Oh God no!!! Tell me why I shouldnt feel this way God, tell me why the lives of these people are a unacceptable to you!!” They act this sort of way, Santana does not even know how to dance or make love, he does not even do drugs he lived his life making “respect” his only god; his goal in life was to gain respect and to be honored and feared. He knew no other life, he did not wonder of any other aspect. He did not wonder about life, he did not even know he was alive, he was as alive as a rock!!! (well you are gonna have to check on rock morality to see if thats a good put-down). They lived to gain respect and to be known, oh my God would Jesus go after such goals?!?! They could have really learned something from Jesus, they would accepted Jesus with no problem!!! Would they even question Jesus’s actions like scholars do? NO! Of course they wouldnt! Seeing how they like to feel like they belong and how easily they are influenced by others, all they need, to believe, is some encouragement and affirmation from enough people. Wow, this is really a place where the gospel would have full effect!! Where people are focused on other gods and they are unreflective, they wouldnt even think about it, they would just accept it since everybody else is doing it. This reminds me of “zeitgeist” saying that christianity was for the poor, to control them and keep them in their place, it seemed that way when thinking about it, i dont know how it would have worked but just the fact that they would accept it and respect it and look up to it without reflection. “So where am I then. Is Jesus only a tool to control the poor? Well Jesus may be but my God is not. And I am sorry God if it sounds like I am denying your Son, but I must wonder: what would I choose if it turned out that to find the Eternal the Greatest God, I had to deny...” (then God says: “Me”). I am left astonished at the thought, what had God just told me? That the Highest God is Higher than who I was praying to?....(awww). Oh God too Great to hold in my mind, a God Higher than you? I felt to ignore the “God” I was praying to, and focus on this even Higher God, but then I realized that the True God would be even Higher, I writhed at the thought, “where are you Lord? How High are You? I am left less than life when I think of your Greatness, How dare me open my lips to You! How dare me complain to You! How dare me to think that anything in my life matters! When I wonder your Greatness, I am as a grain of sand, an inanimate puppet, I SHOULD NOT EVEN BE ALIVE!!! So why do you have me here Lord? Where am I and what am I worth? You have given a body, you have given me abilities, WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO WITH ALL OF THIS, WHEN I AM NOT EVEN ALIVE!?!?!” I felt to not move, in front of such a Great thought, and it was not even His Greatest, I felt like my life was worth death, my consciousness was as good as a calculator’s, I am dead, my spirit is worth nothing to me since it is not even mine.
There are people who wonder, and people who dont. I had this aspect with God where I was pointless and then He let me know of my worth, “I am a creation of the Lord now live and do His will” (another aspect). So I am able to travel from world to worlds within God? But what about those worlds without wondering of God? Are they not seperate aspects and therefore worthy of being experienced, studied?
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