August 1, 2011

Dude!

Something clicked yesterday!

At the store trying to quite my mind; I was beginning to not be able to actually know or keep in mind what it meant to do that.  I reflected on what happiness was, and that idea came to mind, that happiness meant to focus on your breath, and not get distracted by anything; so that’s what I did.

I made sure that I was always aware of the motion of my breathing.  Now breathing changes from one moment to the next, it is not as constant as one may think. When you swallow saliva, or when you sneeze or cough or clear your throat… all of these are interruptions in the pattern.  To be aware of all of these changes, I needed to keep my mind awake.

As I focused on my breathing I felt as if everything I did was right, (as opposed to how I usually felt like everything I did was wrong).  This did not mean that I felt good or happy, but I allowed my emotions to flow and I gave things the right to exist.  I was not concerned whether things should be the way they were, even if I had that feeling of concern, it would just be another color on the canvas, and not a stain.  Then I realized that all of these things that were being addressed, is what I mentioned many times before to be looking for.

It is interesting how it all worked; again, it is like backwards learning.  When you do something, and by doing it repeatedly, you eventually learn what you are actually doing.  If I truly understood the equality of every value in existence, I would not prefer one idea over another for the mere reason that I do not have it, I would not prefer two ideas over the one I had because they would both be the same value, I would be able to focus on my breathing, and not be distracted my any other object, since it would have a value no different than the one I already had.  And so by practicing this concept, I was able to learn more about the principle.

It is really strange how it all unfolded.  It is like: to find the key, you have to first get past the door; it felt like to be able to get past the door I went in through the keyhole, and became the key myself, that gave me access to what I was already doing.

This method of doing and learning things can really come in handy, I think I may even allow myself to begin reading, and getting meditation ideas from other sources… Then again, I don’t really know what to trust so I think I will just make my own path.  But that does not negate the fact that this method of doing and learning things can really come in handy!  Just imagine all the doors I will be able to open when I do not need to look for keys anymore!  I just need to become the key myself!

I have talked about the disconnection between imagination and reality and how I significant problem I had was that I could not bring myself to retain or even truly inherit the principles that I discovered and (in some detached manner) believed.  But it seems like this method would get rid of that problem.  By just behaving like I would if I had already inherited the principles, I can close this gap, and thus make it so that there is actually no disconnection.  All I have to do, is figure out what these principles imply, and by golly, if anything, I have spent too much time doing that… I just hope I have enough of these implications as I think I do.

For a friend:

Focus on your breathing:

The main matter of the experiment is the focus on your breath:

This action should be as continuous as you can make it, this means

That you should not stop for any reason, and continue to focus on your breath

As you do your daily tasks and stuff like that.

Take it easy:

Because I do not want to make you feel like you are giving up your life

For this experiment, and I also don’t want to make you feel like

This is too much of a burden for you to undergo;

I suggest that you take it easy, don’t stress yourself about it,

Just keep trying the best you can without letting it get in the way

Of your preferred lifestyle.  You should always try to continuously

Keep your focus on your breath, but if you really feel the need or desire to

Give your attention to something else for some reason,

Then it is no big deal, you do as you will.

How much to focus:

A lot of times when people focus on their breath,

They just pay attention to it, and just let their minds wander,

Beause they think that since their breath is constant

It should not need that much attention.

But if you paid attention to it enough you would notice,

That there are many skips and interruptions, and that

Your breath is not as constant as you may think.

When you cough, when you talk, when you stand up,

Clear your throat, swallow saliva, sniffles…

All of these cause interruptions on the constancy of your breath

And you should be able remain aware of these, as you focus.

I am not saying that you should only focus on these,

But that the amount of attention you give your breath

Should be at a level worthy enough to distinguish all these changes.

Before I you begin to focus on your breathing I want you to send me a message giving me an elaborate (not necessarily detailed, organized, or even logical, but elaborate as in: don’t leave anything out) description of:

What you think the results of this experiment will be,

What makes you think you will have those results,

And what these results imply (how would they influence one’s perspective, lifestyle, modus operandi, etc).

Once you begin to actually focus on your breathing,

If you get any new ideas (not from a outside source)

Of what may be happening as a result of your focus,

You should jot those down (you may message me or even call

me) while including the source or inspiration of that idea.

I would prefer that you do not consult any “outside sources”

(by outside sources I mean, anything that was not derived from your own cognition

this includes, people telling you, you reading about it, pictures, examples, etc.)

to inform you or even explain what should or may be happening

As a result of your focus, but if you accidently come across

Such information from an outside source

I would prefer to be informed (also by message or phone call).