January 22, 2010

The reason why I havnt written in such a long time is because I am finally making progress (saying this makes me think that I am not actually).  Anyways so there is this whole deal with acceptance and I am applying it, to every fear, every anger that I encounter, paying attention to the process that it takes to disqualify the “trapped energy” (negative emotion), the unsatisfied, the blindness to the blessings of infinity.The reason how I know that I am not completely pure, is because I have not even seen the fourth dimension, I always forget to consider things, I cannot walk through walls, and yes, I still get angry, sad and afraid sometimes, and I get temptations.  So no, I have not figured out the essence of waking up, even though I have done it, and I am doing it better than ever, I do not know the specific essentials it involves.  But I also thought about how it can even make one invulnerable (I mean, to have such Love means you have God... I am talking about living with God here, so yes, one can become invulnerable with God).

January 23, 2010

hello

happy sabbath

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11:11 PM

Tanya:

hello

happy sabbath lol

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11:11 PM

Mental Patient:

yay, today I get to slack off

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11:11 PM

Tanya:

lol nice lol

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11:12 PM

Mental Patient:

i love my life!!!

everything is so perfect

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11:13 PM

Tanya:

really?? do tell

lol

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11:13 PM

Mental Patient:

remember what I told you and david about my... thing

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11:14 PM

Tanya:

ya

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11:14 PM

Mental Patient:

I said that the more meaning you give to symbols in life, the more beautiful and less repulsive it becomes

so im just loving it..

art is everywhere, and im glad to be part of it.

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11:15 PM

Tanya:

wow really?? u tried it?? awesome lol

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11:16 PM

Mental Patient:

well I havent figured it out.. but Ive done it plenty of times.. if I didnt, I probably wouldnt have seen you over the break

Ive done it plenty, and Im gettingbetter at it, but that doesnt mean I understand it... you know what I mean?

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11:17 PM

Tanya:

ya i understand wat u mean lol

well hope u figure it out soon lol

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11:18 PM

Mental Patient:

oh yea, when I do, Ill probably... who knows what else Ill do..

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11:19 PM

Tanya:

orale

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11:20 PM

Mental Patient:

the way it seems at the moment.... It is better to attack the source of sin, instead of its infinite tentacles...

The secret is Love

but not love like our culture defines it

but a type of divine Love..

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11:22 PM

Tanya:

wait....secret love?? how does that work??

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11:23 PM

Mental Patient:

its the opposite of rejection

acceptance

the opposite of death

life

the opposite of nothingness

infinity

the opposite of darkness

light

and of lies

Truth

Love

uncovers itself as the Truth

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11:27 PM

Tanya:

hmm wait no lectures...

lol

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11:28 PM

Mental Patient:

well Im only giving you the title of it.. I could either lecture you, or you could just understand...

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11:29 PM

Mental Patient:

whenever you reject, what ever you reject.. you are rejecting an attribute of life, and therefore you are rejecting life... therefore your love for life is conditional.. its everybody's flaw, no person with sin loves unconditionally

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11:31 PM

Tanya:

i could understand with ur lectures

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11:31 PM

Mental Patient:

no one can love you unconditionally, unless they were divine... when some one tells you that they love you unconditionally they are lying

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11:31 PM

Tanya:

wait is this the lecture u gave to david when we went to ur house??

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11:32 PM

Mental Patient:

no

this is another aspect of it

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11:32 PM

Tanya:

aiight then

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11:33 PM

Mental Patient:

I told that to my girlfriend today.. that she didnt not love me unconditionally nor did I love her uncoditionally

to understand why, one must first understand what UNCONDITIONAL means

the things they reject of life... these all come into the condition when their love is involved...

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11:34 PM

Tanya:

r u serious?? u told her that??

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11:34 PM

Mental Patient:

well yea

im not going to lie

and it isnt that ba, if you understand what I was saying

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11:34 PM

Tanya:

well thats true on that.

ya i know wat u r sayin

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11:35 PM

Mental Patient:

I just mean that I dont have the capability to love her like God does

because there are things about life that I am still afraid of..

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11:35 PM

Tanya:

true on that

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11:36 PM

Mental Patient:

truly, True Love takes you away to new worlds

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11:38 PM

Mental Patient:

i want you to feel the same thing...

but i dont know how to instruct you

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11:38 PM

Tanya:

honestly how would one know wat true love it??

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11:38 PM

Mental Patient:

(atleast yet)

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11:38 PM

Tanya:

k??

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11:38 PM

Mental Patient:

thats the whole POINT!!!

you got IT!!!

let me tell you,, first: ask me that question again... and remember it!!

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11:39 PM

Tanya:

orale lol

thats still crazy cuz like no one will know until it happens in a way

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11:40 PM

Mental Patient:

ask me again

just ask me

if no one knows it unless it happens, it is still possible for them to not know even if it does happen

but ask me that question again

even if it does happen...

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11:41 PM

Tanya:

how would u know wats true love??

kk

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11:42 PM

Mental Patient:

got it?

even if it does happen...

how would u know wats true love??

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11:42 PM

Tanya:

k

thats the question

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11:43 PM

Mental Patient:

right now when I said "I wish you would feel the same thing, but I dont know how to instruct you (at least not yet)"

I was about to say "I can only encourage you to do this:::"

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11:44 PM

Tanya:

do wat??

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11:44 PM

Mental Patient:

(and this is how you begin to Love)

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11:44 PM

Tanya:

lol u dork lol

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11:45 PM

Mental Patient:

yesterday i concluded that, it is the essential question that encourages Life

but i used other words

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11:47 PM

Mental Patient:

instead of "love" i said "good" and I asked, if someone was earnestly searching for God cant they be deceived?

God = Good

= Love

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11:48 PM

Mental Patient:

even christians are being deceived within their own religion, but the only reason why one is decieced is because they are NOT earnestly looking to be good... not anymore

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11:48 PM

Tanya:

hmm u r puttin religion in the whole concept of love n good why is that??

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11:50 PM

Mental Patient:

Im showing that the God, and the searching for Truth, does not depend on religion...

is there a problem?

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11:50 PM

Tanya:

ok

honestly it isnt i mean everythin pretty much comes between religion n politics

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11:52 PM

Mental Patient:

anyways back to the topic... (I doubt politics even takes care of this aspect since the majority of the human population do not even know that such thing exist... at least in the U.S. culture)

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11:53 PM

Mental Patient:

anyways... so if one decides that he wants to be good, whole-heartedly..

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11:54 PM

Tanya:

true on that

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11:56 PM

Mental Patient:

but more often the person gets distracted on their desire to be good, towards more mundane desires to "be liked" "be self satisfied" "appear to be good" "give himself peace of conscience by doing the things that others have declared good; in this way he is not good in the sense that he is doing good, but in the sense that he is just following the judgement of what others think its good"

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11:57 PM

Tanya:

hey i have to go cuz my sis is gonna use the computer to tlk to her man aiight

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11:57 PM

Mental Patient:

Im not done yet... hold on

anyways

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11:58 PM

Tanya:

kk

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11:58 PM

Mental Patient:

so I end up concluding that for one to be genuinely interested in doing good he must wonder infinitely on what it means to be good

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11:59 PM

Mental Patient:

and the never coming to a conclusion... How will we know what "love/good" is?... is what keeps us trying to accept everything that life gives us

so I encourage you to do this...

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1/23/2010

12:02 AM

Mental Patient:

look for what "Love" is, what it means to be "Good", look for the infinite Meaning, do not reject anything, but accept Life as itself as a whole, to not flee from what you fear, but conquer it; do not try to change what angers you, but seek the peace it creates; do not curse what saddens you, but look for the joy hidden inside of it.. this is my encouragement to you, with prayer.. kiss my ass, and good night!

So I am listening to “southern cross” by 403 Forbiddena, with higher pitch so that it sounds like a girl voice, I imagine what I would think of a girl singing like this, moving to it like I am moving to it now, expressing the things that it makes me feel, with her face and with her body; how perfect would she be, if she did this in such a way, unafraid of those that would reject her expression, of those would disregard her as an outcast, but being true to herself for the sake of those who have a passion for Truth, for me, and if not for me, but for those unknown, for the Unknown Himself, for no one else, but for God.  Such a precious offering it would be to offer herself wholly to no one else but Him, like this.  Unconcerned about being decent in the eyes of man, but only being true to Truth.  Oh how I love her, how I wish such person existed.

Now, I put myself in her place, she moves by what I decide in my mind, she reflects the passion of my soul, this is what I am called to be.  I take her place in this stage, I express these things I sing, and the little traces of fear residue that I have left, I use to let out an expression of indeed neurosis.  In my face, you see how I am terrified of my everyday life, terrified of those forces that dwell welted within our minds, projecting themselves into a mingle with the image of those we see;  Yet I move on to speak my truth, like if a spirit was driving me out of my will, taking me to places unknown, making me do things I have never done before, these new glories I love; though there remains insecurities inside, my love breaks through them; like a girl too desperate for sex to wait until she gets out of public, she allows herself to be taken, still concerned, but her desire rapes her fear.  Besides the intense passion for the Truths of Life that the Spirit forces down my throat, you see something left inside me, a fear that I want to keep secret, a fear that I want to hide because of the greater Joy that overcomes it in value and therefore my desire for it, in my face you see the expression of utter terror mixed with utter amazement, tears of maniacal Joy... The fear, I must hide because of the greater Joy that overcomes it; I would rather spend an eternity with this fear, than a minute without the Truths of the Spirit.  Dance with me...

to overcome the fear of fear, one must have the faith

that it does not exist.  Because of this, it cannot be overcome

with the laws of logic.

Following Out Implications

File Location:  My Words/Completion (What we know)\Wondering/Following Out Implications

Following out Implications

Alot of people think that philosophy is useless and not applicable to everyday life because it only talks about abstract concepts.  This is because people do not follow out the implications: there is the “Why” and the “How” and even the “What if” answered, but if you do not look at the answers in your life then everything is going to stay the same.

Here is an example of how people fail to follow out the implications from philosophical conclusions and therefore calling it useless.

The example is a simplified analogy, simplified to the point that the lack of philosophical logic from person 1 and 2, seems ridiculous.  This is to show what is going on in another level of awareness.

Person 1 wants a cupcake, he tells me about her problem and I philosophize a way to solve it.  So I tell her, “well lucky you, this here Person 2 wants to give a cupcake”.  I tell her the answer, he says, “thats interesting Jimmy but I really want a cupcake right now.”  As you can see, Person 1 is failing to follow out the implications of what I told him, he failed to see what this all means in his everyday life.  So I tell him, “Im telling you person 2 wants to give a cupcake, because he has one.”  And she says, “are you listening to me? Or are you too busy keeping track of people with cupcakes?”

Me: I am trying to help you out with your cupcake problem, cant you see?

People 1: By doing what?

Me: Im telling you that Person 2 has a cupcake that he wants to give away.

People 1: I dont follow

Me: So you can go up to him and ask him for it and he will give it to you, and you will have a cupcake.

People 1: why are you telling me to do this? How is any of this useful?

Me: well you want a cupcake right?

People 1: Yes

Me: what do you want to do about this desire?

People 1: well I would like to satisfy it of course.

Me: How do you want to go about doing that?

Person 1: I guess having a cupcake would be nice.

Me: if you want to have a cupcake, you can go up to person 2, ask for it, and he will give you one... and then you will have one to satisfy your desire for a cupcake.

Person 1: How is that going to help?

I go up to person 2 and tell him that I could help him with his desire to give away his cupcake... and he asks me how...  After arguing a bit with him, I finally get the cupcake, and give it to person 1.  “thanks” she says, “I really wanted a cupcake.”  But she still does not understand my actions and reasoning, the implications that followed from my first answer. 

If she understood the process she would be able to do this on her own without me, but since she does not fully understand what is going on in the process, she is always going to depend on me to work out the cupcake ordeal for her.  And if I am not around she will not be able to obtain the cupcake.  And she will believe it is impossible to get a cupcake without me.  So lets practice.  This implies: it is a reflection of all the things that we think are impossible because we do not fully understand them.  Some people think it is impossible to be happy without money; some think its impossible to become educated without going to school, some think its impossible to survive or escape from a desert island some think its impossible to live without a cellphone, some even think its impossible to live without television.  But the same concept applies, since you dont understand it, you do not see a way.  Well, have you ever thought, something was impossible, then you were proven wrong?  It all goes back to that age old philosophy, “you just never know.” 

People that Exist

File Location:  My Words/Completion (What we know)\Depth of the Assumptions\People/People that Exist

This addresses:

finding perfect life partner

Wishing people would change

Wishing people did something about a certain thing.

Wishing a type of person existed.