Spetember 15, 2009

Music class, we listen to a song by Franz Schubert, Gretchen am spinnrade, a woman sings about she is thinking about her guy, and how she feels and  desperate and anxiety, and his... kiss, the most emphasis in his kiss.  Really? Woman do that? And i now understand that it is true, I used to think that women were asexual beings who didnt need men, such sexist emphasis that our society provides to our minds, had kept me blind from the utter similarities between male and female.  Since I have accepted this, I still have trouble believing the degree and the actions sometimes, my ex had never masturbated, my other had never masturbated, my friend had never masturbated, so and so and so, so they never think about it right? Asexual beings, or complete conformist liars.  Anyways, this song, it truly is a different world, guiding  my thoughts with this new belief.

Use Concern

File Location:  My Words/Completion (What we know)\Achieving Awareness\Methodology\Interest/Use Concern

The obvious things to wonder about is things that concern you.  If something concerns you, then it already has your attention, and you are already interested.  If it concerns you, why would you ignore it,  whether its a good thing or a bad thing, or a useless thing, you should not ignore it.

If it is good: then figure out how you can obtain it, or realize that you are able to lose it, and figure out a way to keep it for longer.  Or think of how it can be a good thing to lose  it. (the possibilties are endless practice and get used to coming up with possibilities by becoming and practicing creativity.)

If it is bad, think of what you really want and how you can fix it, or how you can change your focus or perspective to see it as something that you accept.

If it is useless, think of why it still concerns you even though its useless.

Creativity

File Location: My Words/Completion (What we know)\Achieving Awareness\Methodology\Explore\Imagination/Creativity

Already addressed in other files, I will emphasize the importance of creativity and the use  of imagination as a means to explore.  Creativity is essential to look at perspectives, to understand, to build, to increase awareness in all, to explore not only physical aspects, but mental and emotional, spiritual aspects, to gain experience, use your imagination, your creativity. 

Where ever you go just find ways to be creative,  just do something different, in every chance you can. You think you have no time? Risk it, remember that without this practice, you already know what your life is going to turn out to be, and is this really worth living for? Something you already know, somehting you have already been through? Something you do everyday?  Remember the unknown and everything you would do for it, remember that you have chance to live and you should not give it up for some low paying job that will enslave you for the rest of your life.

Remember that you dont care what happens as long as something happens, because somehting new, something different is something  good. Its a new world, it is your duty as a living being to be curious and to experience different things, search them out.

The more “places” you go, the more knowledgable you are in life, no matter how rich or poor you are you get the satisfaction of being more aware.

If you dont want to risk you can start small, or make big decisions with things that you know should not affect your everyday living routine. Like take a shower with cold water this morning, or start showering at night instead of during the day, if you always wear black, wear white this time, if you always say “hi” say “hello” for a while, or challenge yourslef to do things that are not important but that you are not used to doing, if you have an obsessive compulsive disorder, then tease it.  look out for things youve never done before, and cherish them.  Order something different next time you go to a restaurant, always do something that YOU do not expect from yourself, do things that your comfort keeps you away from, if you dont want to do something and dont feel like it, do EXACTLY that, comfort keeps you comfortable in your home the place your always at, but you must disregard that hole you are stuck in, make Life unlike your home, but a mansion that you have so many rooms to explore and a lifetime to ekplore them, dont live in the same place for two days.  If you are comfortable, go somewhere else and learn how to be comfortable there, then explore somehting new.  If you are comfortable, you are becoming numb and you are dying,  your body tends to go after things that are familiar and comfortable, it tends to aim towards numbness, but it is obvious that anything that is good, artistic passionate, is not because of its numbness.  You dont go to the movies to watch your homework, you dont go to amusement park to walk to the store, you go there to get uncomfortable, something different, excitement, something that confuses you, (weed). and become obsessed with mixing things to make something new, even if they are just stupid things, but they build your creative spirit. 

One of the most obvious indicators of opportunities to finding something new, to be creative, is that feeling of uncomfortability.  Once you accept, it is typical to let your insecurity keep you from truly accessing the connections of this new world.  But you must be creative and think of why this situation you are in is good.

Make an effort to see why good things are bad and why bad things are good, (although it may not be a good idea to share them as you may become annoying... unless you find a reason why its good to be an annoying person).

But never stay in one personality always change always something new.  And when changing becomes to much of a routine... stay the same for a while.

If you practice finding new things then you well get good at finding new things, until your mind gets used to it and it becomes second nature to search out Life and explore.

Now with creativity constantly, imagining reasons and interpretations of what is, you can develop a habit of seeing a brright side to everything.  A type of this, is  seeing an advantage to every situation life puts you in, “when life gives you lemons make lemonade, when life gives you a pile of crap, make manuer usable for crops and what not.”  This is a very preffered perspective to have because you can never go wrong, example: Prentiss I saw a girl, I thought, if I was planing to talk to her how would I do it? I was cleaning tables, I would go put a dish away at the same time she did, so we would meet at a spot.  The opportunity was there,  I went too early, did I ruin the plan? I tried  to see how it would not only “still work” but how the opportunity was even better for interaction.... I could wait, and make everything seem unintentionally awkward, and that would have more impact on the interaction, which is good... I didnt wait did I ruin the plan? Now that I didnt make the interaction, but now that I had gone first I had time to turn around and look at her eyes, maybe even say hi. I didnt say hi, and this was even better because... I would have made a fool of myself ... etcetera, or something. 

So this state of mind is meant for you to look at how each situation and detail means that you have an advantage, it doesnt matter how deep in dung you are in, you are to see how it all works to your advantage.  But thats not what Life is all about.

You are not always going to look only at whats good for you, but you are to aim is to explore as many perspectives as possible, an efficient state of mind (for this purpose) would be one that is always changing.  So you would probably need this state of mind to realize your advantages,  it is always good a state of mind that makes you more aware.

September 14, 2009

I just came from core class, I saw a girl from my hall on the way, then I saw her friend the one I liked I forgot her name, I thought of how her friend was cool, she probably never even reported me, that would make.  I think here is a  good summary of what happened, I got reported by so many people because of so many things, I dont know exactly who, and I dont know exactly what, and so I start thinking its everybody because of everything, well I admit it may not be the case, but its ike I have no other choice, people dont want me around, because of something  I do, I dont know who it is, or what it is exactly what I am doing; I must be considerate for these, but something as general as this, its like I have to change who I am for the sake of these people.  Change who I am for their sake? And thats a disgrace.

How to Wonder

File Location:  My Words/Completion (What we know)\Wondering/How to Wonder

To wonder about ssomething

You must give it attention.

(but you cannot just give it attention, since you can give your attention to your television and your mind will still be idle). 

You interpret it.

There comes an immediate interpretation, which is the first thing style of interpretation that comes to mind when you first give your attention to a certain, object.   (how is this possible? Why does this happen?)

Different objects have different immediate interpretations (why is this true?  How does this happen? Could it not be that the lack of the first style of interpretation brings the second style first?)

And just like you interpreted it, you can interpret it again

You understand its meaning

Then you figure out what other meanings it could have.

Wondering = searching or even constructing meanings of obects.

Why = What is the reason/purpose/meaning?

How = What are the causes? ..\Contemplations\Attempts\How and Why.docx

What if = Lets interpret this another way

First you wonder why? And then how?? ....Or do you wonder both jointly? Making why and how one word? ... Or maybe just why?

Example: a booklet on the floor..

(wonder) what is it doing there? “why is it there? What is the reason/purpose/meaning for it being there?”

Interpretation (answer): no reason,

(wonder) what is it doing there? “HOW did it get there? (WHAT ARE THE CAUSES that lead it to get there?”

Interpretation (answer):  it was dropped,

Alternate interpretation: it came from no where

(wonder) how would it come from no where? “why would it come from no where? What are the reasons that it would come from no where?”

Interpretation (answer): [no reasons] or [randomness]

(wonder) how does something come from no where? “How does something come from no where? What are the causes of something coming from no where?”

Interpretation (answer): randomness

(wonder) how do things appear randomly?

Interpretation: well they just do, just like everything else!

Here we have used wondering to come up eith one interpretation of things that everything that we see and not, everything that is, is a result of random events.  We will not get into whether the things that arent are also a result of random events because that would require more interpretation.

But there is still another property we must consider, another step in wondering.  This other step is the question, “what if?”  This question serves to consider other possibilities that may also be true but that we have missed.  With it we look again, and get a different interpretation, a different world, and if we want to be as comprehensive as possible in life, this is what we must do.

What if = What is the result of such and such condtions.

Memory

File Location:  My Words/Completion (What we know)\Achieving Awareness\Methodology\Memory/Memory

                I do not consider myself to have gotten any divine revelation, so the following are not to be considered Truths, but in accordance to my word, they are only assumptions,  assumptions from observations, (the only Real Truth is that there Is).  Since these “laws” are only assumptions, we must keep the fact in mind, and never reject anything new, unless it is inevitable, (unless it is inevitable: if it is inevitable, then you should reject it to experience the side that you would not, a little more... more experience means more Life); and we should Never stop searching for The Greatest Truth of all which is God.  For this reason, none should take my message as given; yes interpretation will be necessary, and yes, it should be multiple interpretations; because even if I say nothing but Truth in my words, the way it is received may not be as efficient.  So we need to look for God by ourselves even if we have guidance, and we must pray that the things I am about to say may serve for growth in Life, so that from the words you are about to hear, whether they are right or wrong, that you may assemble many and Life giving interpretations, may your minds be blessed with True Life.

So before you do anything,and carry on, you must remember the basics.  But even before you remember the basics, you must wonder about memory... WHY do you want to remember and HOW do you go about remembering, and after you answer it, you should ask, what if thereis a better way to remember?

Why: Learn/Remember:  Emotion, when you have passion into what you are doing, you have a drive and you have interest, you have a motive to learn, and so you will learn by your own will.  Not only that but because you are interested you it will have morre of an effect on you.  Keep in mind how things have turned out and the seeming causes, so you can have it for later use, become an expert in reality because the more you learn, the more is the life that is in you.  The more perspectives you have are all the worlds you have conquered.  You have chosen life, now let life be yours, remember everything about life, and never forget anything.  Have life in your mind.  In every case that you are interested in, ask.  Now because forgetting is a prominent problem for human beings, OR because remembering is so important, it is important that you wonder about it. Remember – what good is it to have a great and amazing life, if you dont remember it it would be like you never had it.  If nothing else remember’s it, it would be like they never saw you.  It is important to remember yourself and about others, so that you can have proof that you have lived.  If memories are truly accounts of the past.

How: If sometimes you find it hard to remember things, you should not give up to the fact that you are not able to remember, if you really want to live, you would not leave anything to the forgotten, you would make the effort to keep in mind everything possible, let nothing through you.  Whenever you just cant remember something, dont just let it go, when ever you have the opportunity to be aware of something dont dare to ignore, even when its a “curiosity kills the cat” case, sure you dont want to lose your awareness over gaining a little more, but you must remember that it should not be the case that it is the awareness itself that kills you, in a world where infinity exists in every detail of Reality there will always be a way to obtain a little more awareness without losing your present awareness.

If you want to remember > then you should remember, the more you remember > the more you remember, it makes sense.  According to what we have learned about our bodies is that, the more we use it, the better it gets at doing what it does, if we dont use it, it becomes weaker, so if we want to remember, all we have to do is remember more.  The more you practice remembering, the better you will get at it.  So remember whenever and whatever you can, specially things that are hard to remember like dreams, and what you ate a week ago... (remember, this is to improve your memory and you shold try to remember  things that are hard to remember, if its easy for you to remember your dreams and what you did a week ago, then you should remember things that are hard to remember.)

Keep in mind, as many things as possible, try to be aware of many things at once.

Drink alot of water (for blood to the brain), breathe alot (for oxygen for blood to the brain)

Consume food that are good for memory...

Fire retardant chemicals in mattresses, upholstery, television and computer casings and circuit boards have polybrominated diphenyl ethers, or PBDEs for short, found in a variety of consumer plastics.  Studies have linked PBDEs to learning and memory problems, lowered sperm counts and poor thyroid functioning in rats and mice [source: Underwood]. Other animal studies have indicated that PBDEs could be carcinogenic in humans, but that has not been confirmed

What if: (do research on imporving memory, insert here)

Interest

File Location:  My Words/Completion (What we know)\Achieving Awareness\Methodology\Interest/Interest

For one to make an effort to pay attention, and to wonder about something, first there needs to be interest, something that answers why they should do such a move,  something that catches your attention, but what does something need to have to get your attention? I have mentioned before that anything can be interesting but you must find the right way to look at it?  So the answer to become interested in something is to use your imagination to find a world, a world with such beliefs, a perspective in which a subject looks interesting... to find the right way to look at it.  But the question still remains, what is the right way to look at it? And what makes it the right way (other than achieving interest in an individual)? What is it that causes the interest? And what is interest exactly?

So what comes first, interest or attention?

When I give it my attention, I see that it is interesting, OR because it is in some way interesting, I give it my attention.

The interest comes from you, if you dont want to know, then you are not interested, that doesnt mean that the subject at hand is not interesting.  But sometimes a thing can catch your attention no matter how disinterested you are.  Its startling, no matter how dead you want to be.  This is because of the higher stimulation, (I wrote about situational stimulation and sensual stimulation before I took Davis’ class).  Remember that the more you feel the more it awakens you, it doesnt matter how much your desire is aiming for ignorance and death.  Out bodies are formed so that we cannot ignore the verb(? What about people that meditate and they like are completely out or something).  Anyways, I guess the fact that you cannot ignore higher forms of stimulation, and that it catches your attention, means that you still have some desire or element that  wants to live and feel.  But interest comes from within, when something cathes your attention it is because you are interested in living that much, that something of that magnitude, (classification of magnitude depends on yourself) awakens your senses, and makes you want to feel.  If you have more interest in living, then what ever you classify as  something that will make you live, you will be interested in.  But you can still reject when you fear something, even though it makes you feel, why is there rejection? Is rejection just another stimulation, or is it the result of classifying a subject as something that will not let you live?

So how would one make themself sensitive to smaller stimulations, so that they are interested in smaller stimulations (possibly everything).

The magnitude of the stimulation comes from the classification of the individual, so its not about making oneself sensitive, its about classifying things differently.  So you classify it into something that interests you, if you like harry potter than you see the harry potter version of it... no? Or you classify it as it is, but you try to understand the art in itself; you dont try to pick out what you like from it and make yourself the “herry potter” version of it in your mind.  But you make an effort to consume it as a whole, and you see the art in it, you see the good in it,  you try to understand it as it is, and you understand why to love it, what it makes you feel and in what state of mind you have to be in to enjoy it.

What it is that makes for you a state of mind can be checked in “worlds” file (..\..\..\..\Worlds\Subject Matter (worlds).docx)

:: for something to be interesting it has to have an unknown factor, for you to want to figure it out. But there are things that you dont know and you dont care about... so wats that all about? For something to be interesting, can it only be intricate but not unknown?  For something to be interesting, do I just have to classify it as something that spurs life, that catches my attention and that stimulates me so that I feel? Feel something... feel what?  What is that feeling that I search for when I have a dream to accomplish, that once I reach it, I realize that it is not how I pictured it, unless I look at it with the eyes of when I first dreamt about it, only then I feel as if I have reached a dream, am I still interested even though I am satisfied?

So from all this it seems that interest is not the primary goal. But to find ourselves in interest we must engage in perspectives, but to engage in perspectives we must be interested in living... and so we are forced to live, so we can choose.

So if to engage in perspectives we must be interested in living and vice versa, is there a way that this pattern is self-propelled once you give it a kickstart? Would that not mean that once we are given life we become eternal souls?

I feel something, I wonder what it is, so I am interested.. I wonder about it because I am interested, but where does interest come from? I am interested because I feel it, I feel its essential wonder, the things that I say to “I am not interested” it is because I do not feel its essential wonder, it is dead to me because I dont know it.  and this essential wonder keeps us in interest, until, we forget... but if we remember, we continue to love once again, like the first infatuation.

Does the incentive for interest come from the body?  How do you deal with hunger, if you are full, can you imagine and convince your mind that you are still craving? (no because when you lose the interest (you forget how you felt when you) of being hungry (and the art of eating), you realize other interests that you have forgotten as they were fogged down by hunger.

 Experiment – does the incentive for interest come from the body?  interest comes from an internal desire, a craving of anything, and you reflect it by respond to it in a wrong way, you dont know what you want so you express it in a wrong way, you can become interested in anything, because of the desire of being interested.  (if the incentive for interest comes from the body, that would be bad, because the body is corruptible and as we get old, we may lose that incentive... when we die, of course we will lose it, but how slow will it go away with age?  The more aware you are able to be with your body, the more you are able too feel the essential wonder.  Conclusion: There are things that lower your body’s ability  or desire to feel the essential wonder... (so far no experiment has been done) but the experiment should now answer a different question, does this such action, lower my ability to wonder.

Post conclusion, is there even such thing as lowering ability and desire to wonder? Or is it just that we misinterpret or do not know how to accept or receive the wonders from a particular source other than the things (those that “do not lower your ability to feel essential wonders”)

Essential wonder receptors – we all have them but as are raised to pay attention to only certain things our receptors are only tickled when we pay attention in the manner that we pay attention to those certain things.  But if we open our minds, then we will learn different ways to pay attention, if we are not raised to exclude, descriminate, if we are not taught prejudice, we would accept more ways to pay attention to something, and the wonders would be felt from every direction.  But still, we must consecrate ourselves to the Unknown, asking it for its blessing, to keep us safe as we practice our curiosity, as we avoid the inevitable. 

Now the more senses you have, the more ways you are able to feel essential wonders, you use your senses, you make an to pay attention, you observe the world and you use your imagination to interepret what it means.

Interpretation- because humans live by interpretations, they cannot see facts as they are, the interpretation comes from your mind.

You doont need to be interested in something to wonder about it, you can wonder why its suppose to be interesting, and as you give it your own interpretation, it may be one that initially interests you, if its not, then you should figure out what it really is. 

What it really is? Dont you just mean figure out an interprtation that interests you?

Uhh, yes. But you cant stop there for the sake of Life.

Even if you already found a way, it doesnt matter how best it may seem, you must look for others, whether they are better or worse.  Worse is good because now you know how to work in such conditions, or because now you learn more about the factors that make it go.  Better is good because... its better.

So the conclusion is... Listen

So ones job is to look for as many interpretations as possible, but what distinguishes, and is it correct to discriminate interpretations that are interesting from interpretations that are not? Does degrees in interest exist objectively?

The interpretation is something we make up on our own, the interest that we have in it is what we are able to feel from it.

And when something gets your interest, you must wonder about it and develop a world out of it, something useful, anything of anything.  When ever  we are interested in anything it is our duty to satisfy it, because it is a priviledge and an aadvantage that we must use. If we, as living beings are suppose to explore and rape this life as we love it, we are suppose to stuff ourselves with awareness of the things that interest us and the things that dont, but that still exist.  We are suppose to wonder about as much as we can, and it is just easier when we are interested, so dont let these interests fade.

..\..\Wondering\how to wonder.docx

Whatever you can give your attention to, do it for the sake of awareness.  Whenever you have a chance to observe, something look around